Another Day from hell!!!!

[wivers]

Well lads, its nearly 9 and i only got home half hour ago.

Been tiling a hallway floor that leads into a downstairs toilet today.

Got it all done and grouted, but what a f***in mare!! Problem was that there was only one way in and outa the bloody front room and that was through the hall ( that i was tiling).

So firstly i ask if i can get thought the garage to get water from the garden, but nooooooo the garage is full up and no way round. So i have to keep going up to the bathroom and fill up from the bath tap and try not to spill the bucket on the way down...... yea right!! Splosh!

Then as im halfway through the tiling the little boy walks right over me tiles to go toilet!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH ..... potty training .....i'lll give them potty training.....what about my f***in grout lines!!!!! I tell ya i nearly ramed the bloody potty up the kids arse!!

Then the customer lets me know that she needs to get out to pick the other kid up from school and that she wont be back for an hour. So Mr tiler here has to stop work for an hour or throw the customer, the buggy and the 2 kids throught the front window, which i would have been quite happy to do!!

Next she gomes home wiv the kids, and the older one comes running up to the door. I tell him nicely to be careful not to tread on the tiles. He then asks me "What" as he walks right on the same tiles that his brother had walked on earlier, the ones that i had to relay, the ones that have been up and down more times than Ivegots on a dodgy viagra!!

Next i'm almost done when the dad comes home. "oh can't i walk through there" he asks.

What through that hallway wiv all the wet tiles down that your kids keep using as stepping stones ???? ( didn't say that).

No i say. "oh okay then i'll go through the garage" !!!

Errrr The garage that i cant get through yea???? Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anyway, i grit me teeth and get the tiles down and grouted. Hard day no breakl and late finish, but i dont mind coz the cash will make up for it.......... or maybe the cheque that they write me out for the exact £249. 13p will!!!

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Not even a 87p tip!!!!

Next time i'm gonna stik the kids to the wall wiv gripfill, gaffa tap the woman to the ironing board, and park my van betwenn the blokes arse cheeks!!!!!!!!!

 

[DHTiling]

OH!!!!!!!! the joys of being a tiler............:lol: ..............

 

[IvegotsTILE]

Poor Wivers
All I can say sunshine is wait till you've got kids(which must be soon).
Went to do a quote on Friday and told the customer I'd have to bring my little lad with me,no problem he said.Beautiful EXPENSIVE new house and they have alot of money.Have to keep telling my son not to lean against the newly painted walls.Speaking to the customer while my son went down to use the toilet,all of a sudden I hear this noise like a piano being jumped on,run down stairs and my son is sat playing on the customers piano like he's bloody Elton John.
"Bailey get off that piano NOW!"
"Check me out Dad!"
Dragged him off the piano trying not to explode at him while apologising to the customer who thought it was hilarious(£5,000 piano)

You've got all this to come mate.

 

[Fekin]

Jesus, I couldn't imagin me taking our 2 year old Sophie with me to a job :shocked:

 

[wivers]

Ive i already have one of 8 and one of 5 my 8 year old came to work with me the other day. I gave him a bucket trowel to grout wiv lol. He kept pointing out the grout i'd missed the little darling.

 

[IvegotsTILE]

My 7 year old is very polite,its just that when you take him to places where the people are very well spoken and your little lad goes"Frekin hell dad,How much?"
You A.want to leather him for cursing and B. you don't want him questioning your prices.

 

[Home Tiler]

Well lads, its nearly 9 and i only got home half hour ago.

Been tiling a hallway floor that leads into a downstairs toilet today.

Got it all done and grouted, but what a f***in mare!! Problem was that there was only one way in and outa the bloody front room and that was through the hall ( that i was tiling).

So firstly i ask if i can get thought the garage to get water from the garden, but nooooooo the garage is full up and no way round. So i have to keep going up to the bathroom and fill up from the bath tap and try not to spill the bucket on the way down...... yea right!! Splosh!

Then as im halfway through the tiling the little boy walks right over me tiles to go toilet!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH ..... potty training .....i'lll give them potty training.....what about my f***in grout lines!!!!! I tell ya i nearly ramed the bloody potty up the kids arse!!

Then the customer lets me know that she needs to get out to pick the other kid up from school and that she wont be back for an hour. So Mr tiler here has to stop work for an hour or throw the customer, the buggy and the 2 kids throught the front window, which i would have been quite happy to do!!

Next she gomes home wiv the kids, and the older one comes running up to the door. I tell him nicely to be careful not to tread on the tiles. He then asks me "What" as he walks right on the same tiles that his brother had walked on earlier, the ones that i had to relay, the ones that have been up and down more times than Ivegots on a dodgy viagra!!

Next i'm almost done when the dad comes home. "oh can't i walk through there" he asks.

What through that hallway wiv all the wet tiles down that your kids keep using as stepping stones ???? ( didn't say that).

No i say. "oh okay then i'll go through the garage" !!!

Errrr The garage that i cant get through yea???? Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anyway, i grit me teeth and get the tiles down and grouted. Hard day no breakl and late finish, but i dont mind coz the cash will make up for it.......... or maybe the cheque that they write me out for the exact £249. 13p will!!!

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Not even a 87p tip!!!!

Next time i'm gonna stik the kids to the wall wiv gripfill, gaffa tap the woman to the ironing board, and park my van betwenn the blokes arse cheeks!!!!!!!!!

:whatchutalkingabout

 

[brian c]

you make me laugh wivs...pmsl...kids eh Simon....lol

 

[Grace'sDad]

I turned up for work on the second day (customer had let me have keys while she was at work) and I had an empty house! Wa-hey!!!

I opened the front door and heard "beep-beep-beep-beep-beep"

"aaaah, that'll be the alarm then" thinks me.

30 seconds later with the alarm blasting out, I get rugby tackled by the retired neighbour (head of neighbourhood watch no less).

I couldn't even call the customer as she had her mobile switched off!

After knocking doors of most of her neighbours, we tracked down her work number and finally got it sorted.

All in all it took 1 1/2 hours.

How they must laugh eh? :whatchutalkingabout

 

[TilingLogistics]

When I hear stories like this I'm glad I'm still not fixing:yes:

Kev

 

[CLAYS TILES]

you make me laugh wivs every time i read your threads!:yes:
ivegotstile thats just pure class m8! did he play chopsticks?:hurray:

 

[DEN]

By the way simon did you get the job?
Could be a good marketing tool taking the youngun,little blighter eh
Have you used the fluffy little handcuffs yet?:lol:

 

[laurami tiling]

ive just finnished tiling a bathroom and shower room in a posh apartment in durham city that customer lets out for holidays (charges £ 500 p.w ).
now this couple have their own I T firm, so loads of money and you would think brains but after ive just grouted and cleaned n polished tiles and told em keep dry for a couple a days to let grout set the f***in wife comes into shower room and turns on shower full blast to see what new shower is like, how i never burst out with the words going through my mind still amazes me, even the hubby said he couldnt get over how calm i was as the wettest part of my grouting was being flushed down the plughole:mad2: but i did get some satisfaction from the ensuing domestic row that followed between mr moneybags and mrs thick t**t plus £25 extra lol

tony

 

[wivers]

Lmao!!!!

 

[IvegotsTILE]

Den,got the job mate.Good money aswell.

I find taking my son helps me get quotes,people realise that I'm a responsible adult(unlike Wivers)with a lovely polite child.It makes them feel at ease with me and the women adore my son as he's cute as a button.

I only take him on the nights I have him,tell the customer I'll have to bring him with me and everyone says thats perfectly fine.If it wasn't I'd just say I won't be able to come to do the quote,not willing to tell my son can't have him one night because of a job,I'm busy enough to turn it down.

And yes I've used the handcuffs:wink_smile: