christmas joke

[brian c]

Tampax have announced that they are replacing the string on tampons with tinsel....but its only for the christmas period..:lol:..............go on laugh,you know you want too.

 

[John Benton]

My advent calendar is like my marriage. It cost me a fortune, is a massive disappointment and the only way I can get the flaps open is if there's chocolate involved.

 

[brian c]

thats a good one John.

 

[Minesacarling]

My jimmy savile advent calendar is ****, the flaps only open between 1 and 16

 

[Dan]

ooOoOooOo that's daring!

 

[Minesacarling]

Hope that didn't offend anybody

 

[John Benton]

It's amazing how many different types of advent calendars that are available to buy. I thought their days were numbered.

 

[enduro]

A couple were Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and the whole place was heaving, packed with other last minute shoppers.

Walking through the shopping centre the surprised wife looked up from a window display and noticed her husband was nowhere to be seen. She knew they had lots still to do and she became very upset.

She rummaged in her handbag and found her mobile phoned then used it to call her husband to ask him where he was.

The husband in a calm voice replied: "Darling, you remember the jewellery shop we went into five years ago, where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that one day I would get it for you...?"

His wife's eyes filled with tears of emotion, she began to cry softly and stifling a sob she whispered: "Yes, I remember that jewellery shop..."

"Well," he said, "I'm in the pub next to it!