How best to Tile a room?

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Thanks a lot @3_fall, not listening to you again. Started prepping a big floor today. Customer went away at 8am with her 2 teenage daughters and left me a key. Started in the big sun lounge area and decided to try your tip so went and got a big plastic cup of water, put it in the middle of the floor and began the Micheal Flattley Riverdance routine! Must have been 3 minutes into it and guess who I saw staring through the sun lounge windows? How do you even explain what the hell a 50 year old 6ft 2, 18 stone tiler is doing in your sun lounge!!!🙁
 
Haven't even got to that stage it's been plyed and was wanting to make sure I was happy with everything before went any further!
 

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