Not tiling related - interested in other people's views

[Deleted member 9966]

I've mentioned before on here that we've been invited to a wedding in Kenya next February. At the time we were officially invited, I knew I was pregnant but hadn't reached the magic 12 week mark and couldn't really give a reason/excuse for not going to Kenya. The bride to be is also a close friend and she has asked me to be her Matron of Honor, so I told her that I was pregnant much earlier than I had planned to.

The problem we now have is that the Bride to be is getting quite pushy about us booking up for the trip. Prices have gone up, and she's desperate to confirm numbers to the hotel as she has to meet a certain minimum to ensure certain things happen for her wedding i.e. private room for the meal after the ceremony, not having to pay for the extra's associated with the ceremony and so on.

At first, Mr GRR and I said that we would go to Kenya but we would not take Baby GRR with us. I asked my parents months ago if they would have Baby GRR for a week and although they said they would, there's still 6 months to go before Kenya and life could change easily between now and then. Plus with the prices going up, and having to pay for jabs, and having to get to Gatwick (train or car + parking), dog will have to go in kennels, wedding outfits and so on, this could easily become a 3k holiday for which we're only going for 1 week.

So the bride to be has basically issued an ultimatum. I have to book the holiday now or I can no longer be involved in the wedding party. I hate being backed into a corner and have just spent the last 2 hours fuming. There's 7 weeks until Baby GRR arrives and I don't even know what life is going to be like once Baby GRR is here.

So, anybody got any views on what they would do in this situation?

I'm putting this on here because I want some views from people who are totally unconnected with the situation.

Thanks peeps

 

[DHTiling]

IMO... Stop at home..

 

[jay]

with Dave on this one stay home

 

[SandyFloor]

I got married about three years ago and we considered doing it abroad and inviting people to a wedding there (Florida). We changed our minds as we thought it unreasonable to expect people to donate rare holiday time to our occasion as well as making guests feel compelled to spend money they might struggle to afford.

You have new priorities now and I'd be surprised if you are fully aware how much your life is going to change.

 

[DHTiling]

Liz, you do not need us to give you a blessing to not go.... You will not want to leave baby alone.. trust me..

 

[Deleted member 9966]

Liz, you do not need us to give you a blessing to not go.... You will not want to leave baby alone.. trust me..

6 months ago, I thought I would be able to cope with it. Now I'm 7 weeks away from meeting Baby GRR, I don't know if I would be able to cope

 

[DHTiling]

You won't... and you know that..

 

[DHTiling]

BUT!! when baby grr is 2.. then you will deffo hand over to ANYBODY for a week.:lol:

 

[Deleted member 9966]

I'm thinking of spending the 3k on a caravan instead :lol:

 

[strummerman]

dont go if they dont understand why you dont want to go let them get on with it there loss

 

[DHTiling]

And most of all we will MISS you.

 

[strummerman]

the little un is now your most important thing now dont let a weddin stress you out nearly forgot MR GRR is to

 

[jay]

if you do go you will spend all your time worrying about the young one (doesn't sound like fun)

 

[Deleted member 9966]

if you do go you will spend all your time worrying about the young one (doesn't sound like fun)

that's also a very good point Jay. Think I'll be worried about my parents too... I'm sure Baby GRR will run the two old beggars ragged :lol:

 

[user123]

I agree with all the above, and I can't believe that your 'close friend' is putting you in this situation! Blimey, you're having a baby, it's not like a hairdressing appointment! No longer be involved, pffff, - close friends talk to each other and tell each other things whether they are on the doorstep or thousands of miles away, what does distance have anything to do with it? Take this as your first opportunity to defend your motherhood/parenthood/ baby, your family life, and do what's right for the three of you, nothing else matters.***

 

[redlee]

You will deffo not be able to leave your 6 month old for a week(even with your closest family) - you'll probably struggle to let go for a night at 6 months old. As said above when they get to two you'd be glad of the peace for a night or two.

 

[DHTiling]

And there Speaks Gisela... that is G-I-S-E-L-A Dom..:lol:

 

[Rob Z]

Liz, I'll have to ask Christina later how long it was until we were able to be away from the kids when they were babies. It was a hell of a lot longer than what you're talking about, and it was only for a short time away (not going to another country/another continent!):yikes: It doesn't sound like your friend is being a good friend right now.

I've been the recipient of some stupid and selfish demands from folks as they planned their weddings. I resented them and their demands, and it never ended well no matter what I tried to tell them.

So, my advice is to stay here, with your baby. You will never regret staying home with the little munchkin.

And Dave is right about the two year mark.:smilewinkgrin:

And we have that now with our 15 year old daughter. :mad2:I'm ready to send her off to a boarding school. In another country.

 

[Andy Allen]

deffo stay home, at times like this you find out who your real friends are, save the money your going to need it, i have two kids that bleed me dry every week!!

and rob i know what you mean about teenage daughters, my sweet little girl turn 13 the other day, and now thinks she old enough to get a tattoo :yikes::yikes:

 

[White Room]

Liz, I did'nt see my daughter until she was 4 months old, not a decision I would do again and neither should you even though it's a only week.

 

[Daz]

BUT!! when baby grr is 2.. then you will deffo hand over to ANYBODY for a week.:lol:

:lol: so true!

And we have that now with our 15 year old daughter. :mad2:I'm ready to send her off to a boarding school. In another country.

I had to ask my 13 year old how many years until she moves out this evening :mad2:. At least I will be able to take a couple of weeks holiday and leave her behind in a few years time.

 

[Rob Z]

deffo stay home, at times like this you find out who your real friends are, save the money your going to need it, i have two kids that bleed me dry every week!!

and rob i know what you mean about teenage daughters, my sweet little girl turn 13 the other day, and now thinks she old enough to get a tattoo :yikes::yikes:

Andy ! :yikes::yikes::incazzato::incazzato: (from one Dad to another!)

 

[Rob Z]

Hi again Liz, you will find that the baby will change noticeably in only a week's time---growth, facial expressions, body movements. At that age, everything is happening fast. You won't want to miss a minute of it.


If you plan on nursing your baby, that's all the reason your friend needs to hear as to why you can't leave. If she doesn't get that, then she's no friend and not-at-all considerate.

 

[Rob Z]

Liz, I did'nt see my daughter until she was 4 months old, not a decision I would do again and neither should you even though it's a only week.

That's a tough one, Mark.

 

[White Room]

That's a tough one, Mark.

It is when your working 4000 miles away.