W
wivers
This morning myself and my cousin Luke who now works with me were finishing the grouting on a floor we laid yesterday.
Luke was wiping the floor off and i was runing some silicone down a door frame.
Now siliconing is not something i do often as i am cak at it and i get it all over me. well today was no acception.
Within 5 minutes of slicing the tube open i had it on my face, me hands, in me hair and on the dog...everywhere but where it was meant to be.
After about half hour of siliconing myself i was done and thought i'd nip to Asda next door to go about my "morning business", ( see previous threads for details).
Now i don't really like doing my business in supermarket toilets as most of them are full of mums doing their shopping, and as you walk towards the toilets you can feel them staring in a way that says " you dirty g*t, fancy coming in our nice clean ASDA without buying anything just so you can drop a packet!"
Anyway i managed to get into the crap coffin without too many mums throwing tins of beans and boxes tampax at me.
I finished my work and began to clean myself up.
On about the 4 th stroke i felt something tacky around the core.
I tried to wipe harder but i could still feel it.
I wiped even harder and nearly jumped through the roof when half of my curly ginger jungle ripped out onto the paper.
It was then that i realised that some of the 7 ton of silicone i had on my jacket had somehow found its way onto the toilet paper and was now waterproofing my man hole by matting avery single hair together!!!
I tried for about 10 minutes to get it off but i could see where it all was and i was in pain from the un wanted waxing i was suffering. How much bloody hair is up there ffs!!!!!!
Now don't ask me why i did this but at the time it seemed like a good idea.
I thought that if i could sneak out the cubical quickly when no-one was in the toilets i could have a quick look in the large mirror that sits over the sinks at how much more silicone was left up there....i know i know ....but i did.
Slowly i crept outa the cubical with me pants round me ankles and hoisted one cheek up to take a peek.
I could clearly see half a tube of the stuff stuck fast to the side of me man plug, but not content with the seeing it i began running the tap and trying to remove the stuff in the mirror.
Yes you can guess what happend next... and no i aint making this up.... mid pick in walks a bloke in a suit.... takes one look at me frowns and goes into cubical 1...the one i just came from.....the one that i still aint flushed and is choka block full o tissue and melted mars!!!!!!!!
Embarssed doesn't quite explain how i felt. I heard the bloke tut then he walked outa trap1 and went into trap 2 throwing me the most evil look on his way.
Anyway i just wanted to get outa there so i sorted meslef out and left ASDA.
I spent the rest of today walking like Dale Winton after a romantic night in and have only just managed to cut the stuff loose !!!!!
Damn silicone...never again i tell ya NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luke was wiping the floor off and i was runing some silicone down a door frame.
Now siliconing is not something i do often as i am cak at it and i get it all over me. well today was no acception.
Within 5 minutes of slicing the tube open i had it on my face, me hands, in me hair and on the dog...everywhere but where it was meant to be.
After about half hour of siliconing myself i was done and thought i'd nip to Asda next door to go about my "morning business", ( see previous threads for details).
Now i don't really like doing my business in supermarket toilets as most of them are full of mums doing their shopping, and as you walk towards the toilets you can feel them staring in a way that says " you dirty g*t, fancy coming in our nice clean ASDA without buying anything just so you can drop a packet!"
Anyway i managed to get into the crap coffin without too many mums throwing tins of beans and boxes tampax at me.
I finished my work and began to clean myself up.
On about the 4 th stroke i felt something tacky around the core.
I tried to wipe harder but i could still feel it.
I wiped even harder and nearly jumped through the roof when half of my curly ginger jungle ripped out onto the paper.
It was then that i realised that some of the 7 ton of silicone i had on my jacket had somehow found its way onto the toilet paper and was now waterproofing my man hole by matting avery single hair together!!!
I tried for about 10 minutes to get it off but i could see where it all was and i was in pain from the un wanted waxing i was suffering. How much bloody hair is up there ffs!!!!!!
Now don't ask me why i did this but at the time it seemed like a good idea.
I thought that if i could sneak out the cubical quickly when no-one was in the toilets i could have a quick look in the large mirror that sits over the sinks at how much more silicone was left up there....i know i know ....but i did.
Slowly i crept outa the cubical with me pants round me ankles and hoisted one cheek up to take a peek.
I could clearly see half a tube of the stuff stuck fast to the side of me man plug, but not content with the seeing it i began running the tap and trying to remove the stuff in the mirror.
Yes you can guess what happend next... and no i aint making this up.... mid pick in walks a bloke in a suit.... takes one look at me frowns and goes into cubical 1...the one i just came from.....the one that i still aint flushed and is choka block full o tissue and melted mars!!!!!!!!
Embarssed doesn't quite explain how i felt. I heard the bloke tut then he walked outa trap1 and went into trap 2 throwing me the most evil look on his way.
Anyway i just wanted to get outa there so i sorted meslef out and left ASDA.
I spent the rest of today walking like Dale Winton after a romantic night in and have only just managed to cut the stuff loose !!!!!
Damn silicone...never again i tell ya NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
