D
diamondtiling
The Turner prize exhibition is up and running and this year there are some truly awesome exhibits. You can gasp in wonder at a pile of dust, it is in fact an atomised jet engine but do the cleaners know? has someone actually taken Doris and Chantelle to one side and told them to keep Henry the hoover away? I really hope so otherwise Henry may get a £6 mill meal. If dust is not your thing and lets face it, why should it be? you can wander over to the sculpture stand and stand awestruck looking at all the wonderfully intricate and truly mesmerizing sculptures of............................cow brains, yep you read right, our cattle/milk industry is in such dire straights that the farmers have diversified into the art world. I would love to have been in the Woolpack when old Farmer Giles and his herdsman were discussing that business adventure, "forget milking and beef Boss, just cut the brains out and make toy soldiers, Eiffel towers and stuff, they will sell for millions to the those daft townies.
If none of the above appeals to you then there is the catch all, last resort, bums on seat exhibit that will part you from your £50 for a ticket, the type of thing that is seen quite often although it can be scary to Kids and pensioners, actually its scary to everyone and it is the good old ............
workman's bum showing over his trousers, I kid you not, the humble builders bum has found its way into the Tate. How stupid are we the working classes? we have seen them for years, big, small, hairy skinny, we have seen burnt ones in the sun and we have seen ones that make you wonder "did I loose my trowel anywhere near him,"
Some snotty nosed, Oxbridge art person has drove past a building site in Redcar and thought "now that hairy arse might win me a couple of million and the turner prize,"
Little did the builder know what his day would bring when he woke up that day, he is worried about the future and now he is in the Tate all day, 8am to 6pm, all the *** breaks he wants and £20,000 a week, result!
Right I am off to my clay modelling course to throw a few vases and things, look out for me at the Tate next year lads!!
:8::8:
If none of the above appeals to you then there is the catch all, last resort, bums on seat exhibit that will part you from your £50 for a ticket, the type of thing that is seen quite often although it can be scary to Kids and pensioners, actually its scary to everyone and it is the good old ............
workman's bum showing over his trousers, I kid you not, the humble builders bum has found its way into the Tate. How stupid are we the working classes? we have seen them for years, big, small, hairy skinny, we have seen burnt ones in the sun and we have seen ones that make you wonder "did I loose my trowel anywhere near him,"
Some snotty nosed, Oxbridge art person has drove past a building site in Redcar and thought "now that hairy arse might win me a couple of million and the turner prize,"
Little did the builder know what his day would bring when he woke up that day, he is worried about the future and now he is in the Tate all day, 8am to 6pm, all the *** breaks he wants and £20,000 a week, result!
Right I am off to my clay modelling course to throw a few vases and things, look out for me at the Tate next year lads!!
:8::8:
