Discuss Two Builders in the UK Tiling Forum area at TilersForums.com.

D

DHTiling

Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...

Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Stuart: - No way - he's a geologist.
Dave: - He ain't no geologist ! A geologist wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...

Dave: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken ! I'm a Logical Scientist by
profession!

Dave: - Oh ! What's that then ?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a
goldfish at home?
Dave: - Er, mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a
bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Dave: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town
if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for
yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three
children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are
sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Dave: - Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not
********** very often?
Dave: - Me? Never
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Dave: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've
told you about your sex life!
Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.
Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Stuart: - What's that then?
Dave:- I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Stuart: - Nope
Dave: - Well then, you're a w-anker.
 

Reply to Two Builders in the UK Tiling Forum area at TilersForums.com

Subscribe to Tilers Forums

There are similar tiling threads here

I had a small leak in the main water line before the stop tap in my 1950s house. The copper pipe...
Replies
1
Views
2K
Hi, a few years ago we had an extension built and the tiler recommended by the builder did our...
Replies
6
Views
2K
P
Hi there, fantastic forum by the way guys! I've just had a large kitchen/diner extension built...
Replies
6
Views
2K
peterparker
P
    • Like
The growing popularity of “Thin Porcelain Tile” Now that industry professionals have coined a...
Replies
11
Views
11K
Rizzle from the Portizzle
R
O
A problem you have all probably come across, when your doing you thing on one part of a contract...
Replies
12
Views
315
Mr Tiler
M

Trending UK Tiling Threads

UK Tiling Forum Popular

Advertisement

Thread Information

Title
Two Builders
Prefix
N/A
Forum
UK Tiling Forum
Start date
Last reply date
Replies
0

Thread Tags

Which tile adhesive brand did you use most this year?

  • Palace

    Votes: 6 4.7%
  • Kerakoll

    Votes: 11 8.5%
  • Ardex

    Votes: 8 6.2%
  • Mapei

    Votes: 37 28.7%
  • Ultra Tile

    Votes: 16 12.4%
  • BAL

    Votes: 31 24.0%
  • Wedi

    Votes: 3 2.3%
  • Benfer

    Votes: 2 1.6%
  • Tilemaster

    Votes: 19 14.7%
  • Weber

    Votes: 18 14.0%
  • Other (any other brand not listed)

    Votes: 15 11.6%
  • Nicobond

    Votes: 6 4.7%
  • Norcros

    Votes: 3 2.3%
  • Kelmore

    Votes: 2 1.6%

You're browsing the UK Tiling Forum category on TilersForums.com, the tile advice website no matter which country you reside. Our UK based online tiling forum has 48,000 members and started out in 2006.

Top