W
wivers
Every 4 weeks my mrs turns into Godzilla wiva hangover.
She goes through the bad tempered stage, violent stage, argumentative stage and finishes off wiv the emotional stage.
When i piont this cycle out out to her she tells me that im and arse and that i don't know just how lucky i am to have been born a man......
Well i would like to put the record straight.....It aint that great being us!!!!!
Women may have troubles with their bushy plate reigons, but i would take the furry cup over the silly lump of brainless love tackle we have swinging around between our legs.
It starts at an early age when women forget to flop our little man down whilst taping up our napies, this means that we end up with a belly button full of pee.
Then we grow up a bit and they make us visit the toothless, balding school nurse that had more tattoos than bambam bigalo and smelt of stout and cammel **** just so she can wrench our skinlike sleeping bag back with the force of a recoiling AK47, and for what, so they can see if we need it sliced off or not.
If we do need it shaved we end up with our shiny dome rubbing in our pants and causing knee trembling sensation for 3 months until we rub away 4 layers of skin and loose all senstaion in the bell.
If we dont have it done we have a lifetime of it blowing around like a skin based windsock, catching it in our fly and peeing at right angles if we cant roll it back intime.
Then we have to share showers with each other, non of this own cubical rubbish ohhh no. We have to let t hang out for everyone to see, if its to small your called pee wee for life, if its too fat your called brick shlong, if its too hairy your called chewi and if its to bald your called kojak, whatevr its like you are taken the pee out of ..for life.
We then start self adhereing ourself to or bedsheets without warning.
Sneaking downstairs to wash our sheets in a washing machine we've never used just so our Mums dont find out is the most pathetic thing we wil ever do ...THEY KNOW!!!
Then we find out via our older brothers or the over 50 teachers that give us out of date sex ed lessons exactly what we are meant to be doing wiv it ...and all hell breaks loose.
I think 90% o my early teens was spent in my room with a copy of readers wifes i found at the local grave yard, and im sure i tried to break the world record for wrist movement in a 24 hour period.
Then we move on and try to stick it in anything that is still for more than 5 minutres only to reach a premature anti climax that will haunt us forever.
The dumb arse lump of love lard then stiffens at the slightest vibration and is wide awake bofore us every morning.
Then we get older and it needs little blue pills to make it work and panty pads to stop it watering.
Thees plenty more ladies but i'm sure all that beats your 4 weekly problem any day
She goes through the bad tempered stage, violent stage, argumentative stage and finishes off wiv the emotional stage.
When i piont this cycle out out to her she tells me that im and arse and that i don't know just how lucky i am to have been born a man......
Well i would like to put the record straight.....It aint that great being us!!!!!
Women may have troubles with their bushy plate reigons, but i would take the furry cup over the silly lump of brainless love tackle we have swinging around between our legs.
It starts at an early age when women forget to flop our little man down whilst taping up our napies, this means that we end up with a belly button full of pee.
Then we grow up a bit and they make us visit the toothless, balding school nurse that had more tattoos than bambam bigalo and smelt of stout and cammel **** just so she can wrench our skinlike sleeping bag back with the force of a recoiling AK47, and for what, so they can see if we need it sliced off or not.
If we do need it shaved we end up with our shiny dome rubbing in our pants and causing knee trembling sensation for 3 months until we rub away 4 layers of skin and loose all senstaion in the bell.
If we dont have it done we have a lifetime of it blowing around like a skin based windsock, catching it in our fly and peeing at right angles if we cant roll it back intime.
Then we have to share showers with each other, non of this own cubical rubbish ohhh no. We have to let t hang out for everyone to see, if its to small your called pee wee for life, if its too fat your called brick shlong, if its too hairy your called chewi and if its to bald your called kojak, whatevr its like you are taken the pee out of ..for life.
We then start self adhereing ourself to or bedsheets without warning.
Sneaking downstairs to wash our sheets in a washing machine we've never used just so our Mums dont find out is the most pathetic thing we wil ever do ...THEY KNOW!!!
Then we find out via our older brothers or the over 50 teachers that give us out of date sex ed lessons exactly what we are meant to be doing wiv it ...and all hell breaks loose.
I think 90% o my early teens was spent in my room with a copy of readers wifes i found at the local grave yard, and im sure i tried to break the world record for wrist movement in a 24 hour period.
Then we move on and try to stick it in anything that is still for more than 5 minutres only to reach a premature anti climax that will haunt us forever.
The dumb arse lump of love lard then stiffens at the slightest vibration and is wide awake bofore us every morning.
Then we get older and it needs little blue pills to make it work and panty pads to stop it watering.
Thees plenty more ladies but i'm sure all that beats your 4 weekly problem any day
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