J
jay
My Dear husband
I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal & I even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in two minutes & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case, I'm gone.
Signed,
Your ex-Wife.
P.S. Your BROTHER & I are moving to Invercargill together!
Have a great life!
Dear ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad it didn’t completely work.
I DID notice when you got a new hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years.
About the new nightie. I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it & I prayed it was just a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of that, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million dollar Lottery on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your ex-Husband (Rich As Hell & Free!)
P.S. My brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem...
I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal & I even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in two minutes & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case, I'm gone.
Signed,
Your ex-Wife.
P.S. Your BROTHER & I are moving to Invercargill together!
Have a great life!
Dear ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad it didn’t completely work.
I DID notice when you got a new hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years.
About the new nightie. I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it & I prayed it was just a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of that, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million dollar Lottery on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your ex-Husband (Rich As Hell & Free!)
P.S. My brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem...
