B
Brian Holz
Hi there mates! I live in California, but graduated from a tile setting trade school in Germany and had set tile professionally for about 5 years therafter. At that time my life became unmanageable due to combat PTSD from my battle experiences on the front line during the attack of "Desert Storm" in 1991. (I was a Reconnaissance Scout with the 2nd Armored Cavalry Regiment in the US Army, so we were the first to attack.
Bad time, bad war.)
Now I am living at a friend's home that needs soooooo much work done, and loving doing it! I work daily, at my own pace, in trade for my rent-free status.
For 18 years I have felt the debilitating affects of being unable to work consistently and not being able to manage my life while all of my dreams have been stripped away from my thoughts.
My life is getting much better now because I am finally at a place in my life where I feel safe, living with a dear friend and my girlfriend - two safe women that understand me and have the compassion that I need to try and heal. Or, rather, cope with life better.
Anyways, there's plenty of work to do in this fixer-upper home! I'm WORKING AGAIN!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!
(You know, becoming "disabled" strips you, gradually, of your self esteem, self respect, self worth and dignity. All selfish traits. Interestingly enough.)
But I'm still alive, haven't killed myself, regardless of how many times I've felt desperate enough to, and beginning yet a new chapter in my life. I've been going through an emotionally horrific divorce with whom I thought was the woman of my deems in every way, but there's light at the end of each tunnel, I suppose. I have found someonewho is much more compatible with me and whom I pray I will grow to love as much, again. I don't know if I can ever believe in forever anymore because it's a constant struggle for me, almost daily, to fight the depression and finality of my divorce from my once true love.
So, hello to you all! This is who I am!
Thanks for reading.
Bad time, bad war.)
Now I am living at a friend's home that needs soooooo much work done, and loving doing it! I work daily, at my own pace, in trade for my rent-free status.
For 18 years I have felt the debilitating affects of being unable to work consistently and not being able to manage my life while all of my dreams have been stripped away from my thoughts.
My life is getting much better now because I am finally at a place in my life where I feel safe, living with a dear friend and my girlfriend - two safe women that understand me and have the compassion that I need to try and heal. Or, rather, cope with life better.
Anyways, there's plenty of work to do in this fixer-upper home! I'm WORKING AGAIN!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!
(You know, becoming "disabled" strips you, gradually, of your self esteem, self respect, self worth and dignity. All selfish traits. Interestingly enough.)
But I'm still alive, haven't killed myself, regardless of how many times I've felt desperate enough to, and beginning yet a new chapter in my life. I've been going through an emotionally horrific divorce with whom I thought was the woman of my deems in every way, but there's light at the end of each tunnel, I suppose. I have found someonewho is much more compatible with me and whom I pray I will grow to love as much, again. I don't know if I can ever believe in forever anymore because it's a constant struggle for me, almost daily, to fight the depression and finality of my divorce from my once true love.
So, hello to you all! This is who I am!
Thanks for reading.
