My joke of the day!!!!!!!!

[Aqua Tiling]

Just to bring some smiles, i will post a joke a day, maybe some days two!!!!
hope you enjoy............

 

[Mike]

where's todays then?

 

[user123]

Go on then..

 

[Aqua Tiling]

I was walking down the street when a bloke attacked me with lump of cheese and a carton of milk, i thought how dairy


got really emotional at the petrol garage this morning........................dont know why, just starting filling up


woman in court charged for stealing a tin of peaches, judge asked "how many peaches were in the tin", to which she replied, four. The judge told her that she would serve a month for peach. As she was being lead away, her husband shouted from the gallery........."she stole a tin of peas as well"!!

 

[Aqua Tiling]

Today i see for men walking round and round a grave yard with a coffin on there shoulders....i thought...they've lost the plot

WOKE UP LAST NIGHT TO FIND THE GHOST OF GLORIA GAYNOR STOOD AT THE FOOT OF MY BED.....AT FIRST I WAS AFRAID.....I WAS PETRIFIED

I WENT TO A FANCY DRESS PARTY LAST NIGHT AS A LOAF OF BREAD....THE BIRDS WERE ALL OVER ME

 

[Mike]

first 2 were rubbish, 3rd one was good :lol:

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

OK, Question, what do they call a fat man in the Navy? ................Answer.
















A Sailor.........arrrggggg. I'll get me coat:yikes:

 

[Stewart]

My mate David had his id stolen this morning..... we just call him Dav now!

 

[Aqua Tiling]

My mate David had his id stolen this morning..... we just call him Dav now!

i love it........:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

My mate David had his id stolen this morning..... we just call him Dav now!

Like it,:lol: I love daft jokes

 

[Aqua Tiling]

thought i fount the mass grave of a 1000 snowmen, turns out it was feild of carrots

 

[user123]

got really emotional at the petrol garage this morning........................dont know why, just starting filling up

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Mike]

got really emotional at the petrol garage this morning........................dont know why, just starting filling up

:lol: :lol: :lol:

look at post number 4 g

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

Another daft joke probably my last before I am banned.

a chap comes home from the pub, looking forward to the kebab he has just bought, having set out his plate, knife, fork, plate etc. he gets ready to enjoy his supper.

Just as he is about to sit down, there is a tapping sound at his back door, angrily he opens the door, at first he can't see anyone. Then he looks down and spies a snail on the backdoor step.

Annoyed by this interruption he kicks the snail to the far end of the garden,

Two weeks later he is just about to tuck into another kebab, he hears another tap at the back door. As he opens the door he sees the same snail on the step.


The snail says "what did you do that for"?:lol:

 

[Colour Republic]

Had to stop and take a picture yesterday, I thought it was quite funny then realised it wasn't a joke!!!!!!!:yikes: