One -liners

[Diamond Pool Finishers]

i will start .
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah and I thought ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one’...........

 

[John Benton]

Velcro - What a rip off!!!

 

[Time's Ran Out]

A man walked into a bar - ouch!

 

[White Room]

Lobster went to an underwater disco, pulled a muscle!!!

 

[Stef]

2 goldfish in a tank, one says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing"

 

[Peter]

Painters are tradesmen

 

[Diamond Pool Finishers]

Black beauty; he’s a dark horse

 

[John Benton]

2 parrots sat on a perch, one says "can you smell fish?"

 

[Mr Tiler]

Painters are tradesmen

sorry to ruin the run, this is the best one haha. £14 per hour these guys get on the agencies... say no more

 

[Mr Tiler]

they found part of that missing plane, found the wing just looking for the wong (from a painter aswell lol)

 

[John Benton]

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down

 

[Diamond Pool Finishers]

The other day I sat on a hairdryer. That put the wind up me

 

[Peter]

I wanted a personalised registration so I changed my name to H942 TSV

 

[John Benton]

The Inland Revenue - We've got what it takes, to take what you've got!

 

[John Benton]

Went on the holiday of a lifetime last year - never again!