Tiler required, must be able to travel

[stephen hawking]

I'm working at Cern on the Higgs Boson project (you may have heard of it) and have just proved that the higgs particle exists after nearly 50yrs. The smallest partical ever found

We now are looking at the possibility of an even smaller particle and also dark matter or anti matter.

Now we are looking for a couple of Tilers to volunteer to be accelerated around The Large Hadron Collider in opposite directions and smashed in to each other at just less than the speed of light at an energy of 574 TeV (92.0 µJ) per nucleus (2.76 TeV per nucleon-pair)

We will pay for your flights to Geneva, one way obviously.

 

[bugs183]

Do i need my site vest, and is the collider 110v or 240v?

 

[stephen hawking]

No need for site vest and don't worry about the voltage, it won't hurt. (much)

 

[peteablard]

I'm up for that, I must insist on payment in advance though!

 

[stephen hawking]

Need another volunteer

 

[Perry]

no i think you need plumbers as they have a lot more dead matter try this forum
Plumbing Forum | Plumbing Advice | Plumbers Forums | A forum for plumbers advice in the UK

 

[Tony73]

like your idea pjc :lol:

 

[bugs183]

A subatomic particle is closer to an Amoeba so a plumber will be perfect, if he could fit his gut through it!
You couldn't send a sparky as the thing would trip as soon as anyone switched a kettle on.

 

[stephen hawking]

The very cleaver people at the Plumbers Forum suggest the tilers forum as they are usually a lonesome type creature with no friends or family to worry about. In scientific studies no brain as ever been found in a living tiler which is why we hope to use a couple of them in the experiment as it is possible the brain is smaller than the Higgs Particle.

 

[bugs183]

It's a good point, but seeing as the plumber has the larger brain, it doesn't seem to help them remember to put dust sheets in shower trays, batons under plastic baths, or that you can't cut a neat hole out of a tile with the fitting on it.
Maybe this will help.
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Size 'does not matter' for brains

 

[stephen hawking]

Buggsy, that is why the building trade has the unskilled, labourers and tilers and the like. Someone has to do the cleaning.

 

[bugs183]

haha!
Mind you why don't you do it when your pipes leak???

 

[stephen hawking]

I am famous scientist mate, don't do pipes or cleaning

 

[bugs183]

Then you' should be intelligent enough not to stick up for plumbers!

 

[stephen hawking]

Type fast with me eye lids though

Not PC either (sorry)