yoga for fella's..( builders)

[DHTiling]

Given that the pub is the place where you spend most of your waking hours, its logical that it’s also the place where you’ll get most of your yoga done.
There are loads of poses in the Yoga down the Pub routine – like The Stella Salutation, Fleecing your Mates and Dealing with a Whitey..but for now we’re gonna concentrate on the following essentials
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How to Light a Bird’s ***

Don’t be a mug when a bird asks for a light. Use a bit of yoga to make a dynamite impression

Detox to Retox

One of the best things about yoga is that it cleans out internal organs like your liver and kidneys. The good news is that after a yoga sesh, they’re gonna be in optimum shape for a right hammering. The best bit is that you’re gonna feel twice as drunk off your first six pints !

Driving Home Drunk

What happens if you’re on your way home from the pub when the old bill decides to pull you over for a minor technicality like driving on the pavement? Simple. Before he can say “breathalyser”- jump out your motor and show him your very best acrobatic yoga moves. Not only will he be so impressed that he’ll let you off- he’ll also ask you where he can learn some of them tricks !
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No matter whether you are a plasterer, carpenter, brickie or even a scaffie- Yoga for Builders is the new lifestyle choice for builders thoughout the country. Invite me down to your site and I will enlighten you:

• How you can drastically increase your income and get new clients by learning “yoga-speak”
• How to intersperse numerous “yoga-breaks” in your day without the foreman moaning that you’re skiving off
• How many **** it’s reasonable to smoke during a Yoga 4 Builders session

The Builder’s Bum Pose

Are you displaying the correct amount of builder’s crack when you’re at work? Not sure? Then use the ancient yogic posture of OOT-an-Arsana to get it right.

The Pose of the Builder’s Afternoon

How to deal with the stress of the afternoon’s work schedule once you’re back from the (mandatory) lunchtime visit to the Pub.

Yoga on the Mobile Given that a builder needs to be on the blower at every given opportunity- you’re never gonna make it down a regular yoga class where they make you switch your phone off. That’s why in Yoga 4 Builders we’ve come up with Yoga on the Mobile- so that you can practice all your yoga moves while you're shooting the breeze with potential customers, your mates or even her indoors.

 

[DHTiling]

Whether you play the game or you’re simply a footy-voyeur, I will show you how yoga can be directly applied to the world of footy. I’ll also explain why the people that invented yoga were obviously Arsenal fans.

Yoga for Punch-ups You go down the match one day and you notice that you just ain’t in the mood for a punch-up. Next minute there’s 20 Chelsea fans on your back. What you gonna do ? Simple- the Ancient Yogic Punch-up manoeuvre !

Headers, Headstands & Headbutts A lot of people reckon that footballers ain’t too clever. The thing is they weren’t born like that. They’ve just lost too many brain cells from heading the ball every twenty minutes. What they need to do is send some spare braincells into their mug by using the ancient yogic art of the headstand

Goal Celebrations As we all know, footballers spend most of their time in training practicing their goal celebrations. Here, I’ll show you some yoga inspired ones.
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It don’t matter where you are or what you’re doing- Yoga can be of assistance in any situation. Even when you’re doing 70mph on the M25.

Mantras You’re driving down Clapham High Street, when you spot a gorgeous, buxom woman walking towards you. How are you gonna grab her attention and make her come over for a chat? Simple- by using what them yoga people call- “a mantra”.

Dealing with Road Rage Some days you spend more time stuck on the North Circ than you do in the pub-and that’s a crime against humanity! Needless to say you’ll be chain-smoking Embassy’s to deal with the pressure - but what happens when you run out of ****? Answer –use the ancient yogic breathing technique called “pranayama."

 

[White Room]

An hour of yoga I'de be making an appointment with the osteopath

 

[DHTiling]

nice one.....i like the just got back from pub one...