yorkshire joke

[nybor62]

A rugby league fan is drinking in a Yorkshire bar, when
he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning
from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for
everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given
birth to a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25
pounds, but the rugby fan just shrugs and replies, 'That's
about average in Yorkshire... like I said, my boy's a
typical Yorkshire baby boy. Gonna be a rugby league player.'
Congratulations showered him from all around, amid
many exclamations of 'WOW!' One woman actually
fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender
says, 'Say, aren't you the father of that typical Yorkshire
baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth?
Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in
two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?'

The proud father answers, 'Twenty pounds.'
The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little
suspicious. 'What happened? He already weighed 25
pounds the day he was born!'

The Yorkshireman takes a slow swig of his Samuel Smith's,
wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender
and proudly says,


'Had him circumcised...'

 

[kilty55]

lol good one

 

[nybor62]

a man is out in the garden and raking leaves when he sees a snake.
he raises the rake to kill the snake, when suddenly the snake says, no no no please do not kill me, if you let me live, i will grant u one wish
The man thinks for a moment and says, I wish i could pee whiskey.
done the snake said, the man runs in and pees in a glass, smells and tastes a bit cautious, it's really whiskey he says.

when his wife gets home she sees her husband pee into a glass,
she asks shocked what he is doing,
he gives her the glass and tells her to drink it.
after many ifs and buts, she agrees to taste
it's whiskey, she says

weeks go by and the couple drink whiskey every day, but one day when they get home from work, the man only brings one glass to the tabel, his wife asks why she doesent get a glass, the man looks at her, smiles and says, today its Friday, you get to drink from the bottle

 

[chrisprendy]

lol LIVIN FOR THE WEEKEND