BMW vs Women

[Jimmy Boy]

BMW vs Women

An engineer, of the BMW Corporation died and went to heaven. At the gates St. Peter told him,
"Since you've been such a good man and your vehicles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang
out with anyone you want in Heaven".

The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter
took him to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

He then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes."
"Well," said the engineer, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention.

(1) There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
(2) It chatters constantly at high speeds.
(3) Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
(4) The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust. And finally,
(5) The maintenance costs are outrageous."
"Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on."

God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and
waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God
read "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to the
engineer, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my
invention than yours."

 

[Tilestiles]

A dwarf goes to the doctors complaining of a terrible rash on either side of his testicles in particular during wet weather. The doctor tells him to drop his trousers whilst he takes a look. Whilst down there, the doctor asks his nurse to pass him his scalpel. Couple of minutes later, doctor says "there you go". "Come back in a couple of weeks and let me know if its any better. 2 weeks later the dwarf returns. Doctor, thats amazing. Even though its been pouring down for the last 2 weeks, the rash has completely disappeared. What did you do. The doctor replies "Just a small procedure with my scalpel. I cut 2 inches off both of your wellies!!