caught short

[Mike]

i had tea in my mates house last night, a red hot thai meal cooked courtesy of his lovely thai missus, then washed down with 6 pints of carling's finest, i knew that would be a recipe for disaster as i was working today fitting a kitchen in an immaculate tiny 2 bed bungalow and the lovely lady customer was home also. sod's law my stomach starting making funny noises at ten bells and the odd passing of some fowl smells told me it was time to go do the dirty deed but unfortunately i was not in range of my own office (20 miles away) i daren't use this poor ladies showroom bathroom and no public conveniences in the vicinity there was only one option left. i jumped in the van and made off down the road to the nearest layby..... 2 minutes later i was squatting over an empty bucket of greenstar in the back of my combo and the smell was almost peeling the paint off the van. after 10 minutes of puffing and panting the bucket was half full and luckily i had a trusty roll of kim wipe in the back to finish off the task of cleaning up. over the bushes went the laden bucket and back to work i went. moral of the day, don't have a curry and lager when working next day (unless you're close to home :lol:

 

[DHTiling]

:lol: :lol:

 

[DHTiling]

I have told this before on here but it won't hurt again...

i was tiling a bathroom and the lady of the house asked if i wanted a cuppa.. y es please i said.. milk no sugar..


I then went out to the van to get summit and whilst outside i was bursting for a bottom burp.. so out it comes.. just as i blew off i heard this voice.. dave!! here's your cuppa and she was stood behind me.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

proper red faced.

 

[doug boardley]

lol, it was probably better than what was in the bucket originally:lol:

 

[hillhead]

Hard to get the smell out of the van too(experience,lol).:lol:
I seen me in a big new house one day, one stonemason working on the front wall a good distance down the drive, me busting and no loo.
I climbed the ladder to the third floor with my bucket, sure enough as i hovered the bloody stone mason came into the house :yikes: i kept quiet and the big room was high.
If he had climbed that ladder i would not be here, lol.

 

[doug boardley]

I've told you about the time I was skimming a ceiling and the lady of the house brought me a brew haven't I?

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

I have told this before on here but it won't hurt again...




i was tiling a bathroom and the lady of the house asked if i wanted a cuppa.. y es please i said.. milk no sugar..


I then went out to the van to get summit and whilst outside i was bursting for a bottom burp.. so out it comes.. just as i blew off i heard this voice.. dave!! here's your cuppa and she was stood behind me.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

proper red faced.

I had one similar Dave, I used to have a partner who was fond of curry and Guinness. we were doing a real posh house in a very affluent area, one morning my mate let one rip, immediately we heard the young 7yr old daughter call downstairs, "Mummy the workmen are making rude noises in the bathroom" she was stood on the landing.:yikes::lol:

 

[doug boardley]

I had one similar Dave, I used to have a partner who was fond of curry and Guinness. we were doing a real posh house in a very affluent area, one morning my mate let one rip, immediately we heard the young 7yr old daughter call downstairs, "Mummy the workmen are making rude noises in the bathroom" she was stood on the landing.:yikes::lol:

I think I felt a bit of sick come up then Phil

 

[doug boardley]

to make it worse, I'd just had a look on Vizsla forum,,, and there was a pic of a doberman,,,black and tan....why did it make me think of your mates undercrackers Phil??

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

Doug, I had to work with him for eight years.:surrender:

 

[doug boardley]

Did you still have your blitz issued gas mask Phil?:lol:

 

[DHTiling]

Did you still have your blitz issued gas mask Phil?:lol:

he does Doug but only his ww1 one.. :lol:

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

Crimea actually:lol:

 

[doug boardley]

he does Doug but only his ww1 one.. :lol:

that's right Dave, I forgot that when WW11 broke out Phil was classed as "expendable"

 

[tobins tiling]

Haha thanks for sharing that with us mike I was laughing my head off reading that I normally try and find the nearest pub but it's like when you walk in the music stops and all the local alcoholics turn to see whos coming in and you have to say excuse me love were are the tiolets:blush2:

 

[Mike]

Haha thanks for sharing that with us mike I was laughing my head off reading that I normally try and find the nearest pub but it's like when you walk in the music stops and all the local acoholics turn to see whos coming in and you have to say excuse me love were are the tiolets:blush2:

It was 10 in the morning the pub wasn't open, and before anyone asks I didn't get any pictures lol

tapatalk on my HTC

 

[tobins tiling]

Fair play anyway mate it made me laugh maybe someone else got some picture of you

 

[Mike]

I hope not

tapatalk on my HTC

 

[White Room]

I have told this before but it was a while ago......working at a customers house and had a dicky tummy, used the toilet in the utility and realised after the expelair blew vapours back into the utility and not externally, next thing I heard was the customer using an air freshener and coughing to hide the noise of the spray....

 

[widler]

I was working in the sticks tiling a splashback and bathroom (empty barn conversion)busting for a number 2 so bucket it was.
So i pour it in a hole, 2 mins later i look out of window and my dog elvis was eating it, i was nearly sick, needless to say he sat in the back of the van on the long drive home


---
I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?3dy35o

 

[Andy Allen]

Haha thanks for sharing that with us mike I was laughing my head off reading that I normally try and find the nearest pub but it's like when you walk in the music stops and all the local alcoholics turn to see whos coming in and you have to say excuse me love were are the tiolets:blush2:

iv'e done that before now, felt so guilty, just wanting to use the bog, i ended up buying half a shandy...

 

[merit]

what did you charge the customer time and a turd or was it a lump sum:lol:

 

[Bubblecraft]

This is what happened the other week. Was just finishing a bathroom fit & took the door off to tile the floor. Loaded all the tiling gear on the floor & then my labourer says, "I need to drop 1....now" so thought that's fine, knowone is in, I'll go make a cuppa. Just then, the 17 year old daughter walks in. Didn't realise she was on a half shift. So, with the front door being right at the bathroom, I didn't have time to stop her. My labourer just picked up a 30 x 60 floor tile & made it look like he was sitting on the bog marking a tile. She stood for a good 2 minutes talking to us before she headed up stairs...none of the wiser! I found it hard to keep a straight face!

 

[Bubblecraft]

About 2 years ago, was doing a large solid wood flooring job in Killcreggan, good hours drive from where I'm based. Dual carriage way all the way there. Again, he had to go for a number 2. Pulled into layby, no trees about for cover so he just squated next to the van as all buckets in van were full. It's a busy road. I thought it would be funny to drive on a wee bit & leave him exposed. He just sat there, on his invisible toilet without a care in the world! I was knotting myself!

 

[EverDon Tiling]

I got got caught sort today working in an empty house took the toilet out yesterday and no water on so i had to drop the turtle down this my misses hasn't stopped laughing all day after i told her