J O K E S !

[CLAYS TILES]

just wondering if anyone has got ant really gooooooooooooood jokes!

i will be back with some later!:confused_smile:

 

[Dan]

A Red Indian walks to his cheif and says.... "Cheif Sitting Bull, why are our names so long and outragous?" Cheif says "well, when one in our tribe gives birth, the father will walk outside and the first thing he see's in Nature, he'll call his Child...... Why do you ask Two Dogs Shagging?"
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Please Keep Jokes Clean And Only Post Ones That Don't Offend Members.

 

[CLAYS TILES]

paddy was telling all his mates about joining the army down the pub, i was in the parachute reg' we was at 30,000 ft, one by one they all jumped out of the plane but i just couldn't do it !
then this big bloke dropped his trousers & he had a 12' penis pointing at me, he said if you dont jump i'll shove this up your a**e!
murphy said did you jump?
paddy replied, only at first when he put it in!!! :wink_smile:
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I Thought More Jokes Would Be On Here!!!

 

[IvegotsTILE]

Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom and see's his dad giving his mum one,his dad just laughs,throws a pillow at him and shouts 'get out'.
A little while later Johnnys dad hears a comostion coming from Johnnys room,he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his Gran-Johnny just looks at him and says 'Not so f***ing funny when its your mam is it?'

This joke is a tribute to Wivers who is about to become 'One of them! 'God Bless!

 

[brian c]

Boy asks his Gran,have you seen my pills,they are labelled 'LSD'?

Gran says-never mind the pills,have you seen the big green dragons in the kitchen?

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paddy & mick are walking home from the pub,walking past the buas gaRAGE THEY DECIDE THEY ARE GOING TO STEAL A BUS because paddy cant be bothered walking.Mick keeping a watchful eye wonders whats keeping Paddy after 20 minutes,so pops his head in and asks him whats keepingf you?tToo which Mick replies 'i cant find a number 7","you forking eejit says Paddy just get a number 8 and we can walk from the roundabout."

 

[devonmark]

a donkey in a field falls down a well...upon seeing this a chicken grabs a rope ties it to the farmers bmw and drags the donkey out....a couple of days later the chicken falls down the well...the donkey saw this happen and ran over to the well, he stood over the well and lowered his d*&k down and pulled the chicken out..

the moral of this story is...if your'e hung like a donkey you don't need a bmw to pull a chick..

now where's my nearest bmw dealer..?
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two irishman go for an interview for a job...mick gets called in first, the interviewer says "give me a sentence with the words donkey jacket in it" mick thinks carefully then says " i've got a donkey jacket and i wear it when it's cold" the interviewer tells him he's got the job.
on his way out he says to paddy "tell him you've got a donkey jacket and he'll give you a job"
paddy goes in and the interviewer says to him "give me a sentence with the word fascinate in it"
so paddy thinks and says "i've got a donkey jacket"
interviewer says "no..i want a sentence with the word fascinate in it"
paddy says again " i've got a donkey jacket"
interviewer starts to get impatient and shout "GIVE ME A SENTENCE WITH THE WORD FASCINATE IN IT"
paddy thinks and says " i've got a donkey jacket, it's got 9 buttons but i can only fasten 8"
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nothin better to do as it was an early finish

 

[CLAYS TILES]

good ones boys!:laugh:

 

[Ric]

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.

His wife is lying in bed reading.

Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

 

[devonmark]

Simon goes on stars in their eyes, Mathew Kelly notices he's in a wheelchair, he says "what happened ?"
Simon replies " I was in a car crash with my uncle, he died and I had my legs amputated but, they saved my uncles legs and grafted them onto me, and in 6 months time I will be able to walk again".
"Amazing" says Matthew "who are you going to be tonight ?"
Simon says "tonight Matthew, I'm going to Simon & Halfuncle"

 

[CLAYS TILES]

Simon goes on stars in their eyes, Mathew Kelly notices he's in a wheelchair, he says "what happened ?"
Simon replies " I was in a car crash with my uncle, he died and I had my legs amputated but, they saved my uncles legs and grafted them onto me, and in 6 months time I will be able to walk again".
"Amazing" says Matthew "who are you going to be tonight ?"
Simon says "tonight Matthew, I'm going to Simon & Halfuncle"

ha ha!