People say the most stupid things!!

[diamondtiling]

Came out of Sainsburys yesterday and as I was walking past a young couple I heard the baseball capped lad moan about the wind, his words were.......

'I hate this wind, it blows too hard, why cant they control it?'

There really is no hope for some people.........

Another one from some years ago was when I was walking around a car boot sale with the then Mother in law. She picked up an item from a stall and asked me what it was for? 'looks like a motor off a washing machine' was my reply.

'Whats the wheel for?' asked Val,

'A belt to turn the drum I expect' I said.

'oooh Dom, could this be fitted to my bike for when I go to the shops?'

'sure Val, no problem, the shop is half a mile from your house so lets get half a mile of electric cable for you'

'great, lets do that' she said..................:lol::lol:

Still laugh about that now when I see her.



Anyone else heard someone say something dopey without realizing it???

 

[SandyFloor]

My stepdaughter used to have a holiday job in a high street jewellers and a common one was someone coming in asking for a crucifix but one without the little man on it.

 

[SandyFloor]

My mum comes out with a lot of these.

I popped in to see her a couple of years ago and Paul Simon was on the tv.

"Who's he?" she asked.

"Paul Simon who was half of Simon & Garfunkel." I replied

"Oh yes, They sang Bridge over the River Kwai, didn't they?"

 

[user123]

My sister in-in-law, when we talked about when Howard was born, she said, "I think he was born before or after midnight". She never got why we laughed so much.

 

[Ian]

I'm ashamed to say this as it was me who said it, after the lottery had been running for a couple of years I said to one of my mates, 'Don't you think it's strange that no one has managed to get all 6 numbers and the bonus ball yet?' What a dummy :lol:

 

[SandyFloor]

A doctor I knew years ago told me a story about when he was assisting in surgery removing a small Domestos bottle from a gentleman's rectum. Afterwards the assisting young student nurse said in front of several staff "I just don't understand how he managed to swallow it in the first place."

 

[Andy Allen]

i had one yesterday, one of my daughters friends said i must of been really lucky to have been able to buy a van with my name allready written on it.

 

[paul damian]

Laying a concrete driveway and yard some years ago we told the customer who was on the whole none too bright, not to drive his car up the driveway for a few days,,, to which his reply was it will be ok i will reverse up ... yep straight up.

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

To my shame I must admit to a couple of bad ones, I once told a freind at work I had a signed autograph from the Duke of Kent. What other kind of autographs are there?????? the members who were taught to be cautious will know how I got it.:smilewinkgrin:


The other one was when I was talking about two brothers I used to work with, I said " you must remember the Bowler twins, there were two of them" :yikes:

 

[Mike]

i was laying turf in my garden some years ago and my ex-wifes friend arrived as i was rolling it onto the soil and she said 'wow it looks just like real grass' silly mare thought it was that stuff you see in the greengrocers display :lol::lol:

 

[Pebbs]

Even I do it, I was in the cafe with the lads a couple of weeks ago, and I turned to one of them and said 'will you stop eating with your mouth full, I cant understand what your saying' durr I'll never hear the end of that clanger now!

Pebbs

 

[SandyFloor]

In my late teens when I still lived with parents my mother had a friend in who noticed I was in some discomfort. She asked me what was wrong and I informed her I had an ear infection.

"I have Tinnitus" she told me.

I replied " no thank you, I already have painkillers and antibiotics from the doctor."

I thought Tinnitus was some kind of painkiller.

 

[TheWrightTiler]

To my shame I must admit to a couple of bad ones, I once told a freind at work I had a signed autograph from the Duke of Kent. What other kind of autographs are there?????? the members who were taught to be cautious will know how I got it.:smilewinkgrin:





The other one was when I was talking about two brothers I used to work with, I said " you must remember the Bowler twins, there were two of them" :yikes:

hrh kent is a top bloke i met hi at ugle a few years back

 

[Gazzer]

As a member of a motorcycle forum this type of post always cracks me up.

"The rebuild is fantastic, the frame was stripped back and powder coated, New silencers, pistons, rings, carbs, full ignition and engine vapour blasted and rebuilt at "so and so" motorcycles. New wiring loom, rebuilt wheels, every bearing gasket and oil seal replaced. Full respray at cost of £500. New seat and all chrome rechromed. I took it for a spin today of 50 miles and it never missed a beat"

Well fancy that, about £4000 in total spent not including time and original purchase price, the bike is still only worth £2000 max and he rode around the block and it never missed a beat....!! Bargain eh !

 

[diamondtiling]

I was always singing the chorus of a song from the early nineties until a lady customer asked me why am I singing about a ladies sanitry product? I always thought it was some kind of rock song.........


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I still cringe when I think about it...