The wife jokes

[Gazzer]

I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom' It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex!!!



I've just booked a table for Valentines Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though, she's rubbish at snooker!!!

 

[John Benton]

Me: "What's that smell?"

Wife: "I can't smell anything"

Me: "Neither can I, get that ****ing cooker on"

 

[Rookery]

Wife - "Say something complimentary about me"
Husband - "You dont sweat much for a fat lass"

 

[steve187]

When her husband arrives home, she greets him at the front door in the nude. "Honey, what the hell are you doing?" asks the husband. "It's my love dress!" she explains. "What do you think of it?" "Well, to be perfectly honest," replies her husband, "I think you should have ironed it first!"

 

[Gazzer]

And moving on from the wife jokes .......


Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it
would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right.
We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!

Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its
considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man it's £2.50/min (charges may vary).

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins
of ham then delete it. It's probably Spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm
wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.