Things not to do!!!!!

[Gazebo]

Dont go to the toilet whilst being drunk in a curry house having dunked your naan bread in your prawn phal and getting it on your fingers,( took about 3 mins for me to scream and run around like a loony)

it burns let me tell ya.

 

[faithhealer]

Don't steer the car with your knees whilst driving on the M62 whulst eating burger king and to top the lot talking on hand held mobile - bloody Fiesta Driver scared me half to death. Where is the traffic police when you need them

Happened to me once, lost my place in the news paper and made me spill my cornflakes!!

 

[chris.tiling]

and another.... don't try and un-jam a cassette thats got stuck in your car stereo, esp if your touching 100mph on a straight bit of road, but a lorry has decided to make a left turn..... I looked up to see said lorry, hit the brakes, skidded across the road and hit a retaining wall, two somersaults and landed on the roof!! The annoying thing was that I'd just finished paying the loan off on my 2 litre S and was gonna go fully comp on the insurance the following week:mad2:

Doug, having read all of your other posts in this thread, how the hell are you still alive? Have you made a pact with God / the Devil or something?

 

[faithhealer]

Doug, having read all of your other posts in this thread, how the hell are you still alive? Have you made a pact with God / the Devil or something?

Dougs got loads more stories Chris, Probably why I didn't fancy getting on a fishing boat with him lol

 

[chris.tiling]

Dougs got loads more stories Chris, Probably why I didn't fancy getting on a fishing boat with him lol

Cheers for the heads up! If ever I get to meet Doug, I will make sure I have all sorts of lifesaving gear on / with me

 

[doug boardley]

there was also the tractor and another skydiving incident, messy disaster involving hay mowing machinery, very narrowly avoided, ( should have a brow wiping smiley!)

 

[chris.tiling]

there was also the tractor and another skydiving incident, messy disaster involving hay mowing machinery, very narrowly avoided, ( should have a brow wiping smiley!)

So are you just an accident looking for somewhere to happen, or bloody unlucky?

 

[davy_G]

Mmm, reminds me of an incident removing the old stairs in me house before Christmas. Apprentice standing under the stairs holding them up, me standing on them chainsawing the strings....all ended up in a pile on the floor, both walked away. Very lucky indeed!

 

[White Room]

I hate chainsaws, used once, no thanks

 

[doug boardley]

So are you just an accident looking for somewhere to happen, or bloody unlucky?

don't really know the answer to that one Chris, last count I'd had 5 legs broken, obviously not all at once, and never skydiving, (altho' badly chipped my front teeth and had 3 stitches in my top lip due to a stiff wire ripcord)

 

[Ajax123]

don't really know the answer to that one Chris, last count I'd had 5 legs broken, obviously not all at once, and never skydiving, (altho' badly chipped my front teeth and had 3 stitches in my top lip due to a stiff wire ripcord)

Blimey five legs. Good job you got spares - most of us only have 2 to start with

 

[Ajax123]

Mind you I guess your trousers fit like a glove......

 

[White Room]

Your on good form tonight ajax:lol:

 

[doug boardley]

So are you just an accident looking for somewhere to happen, or bloody unlucky?

this was unlucky Chris, my uncle!Soccer - Bert Boardley Remembered . (From The Wiltshire Gazette and Herald)

 

[chris.tiling]

:yikes:
oh my God Doug.... It seems to run in the family

Your kids better learn where casualty is

 

[albyshellshear]

dont jump off metal shelving wearing rings lost my ring finger doing this (the joke went around the boss said pull your finger out):mad2:
,stupid thing was i had only been maried 2 weeks the priest who married us was father ring (true)that was 30 years ago still dont wear rings today.

 

[garretridge]

or cut trim with a stanley knife on you knee i did got six stitches to show for it ooch:mad2:

 

[Deleted member 9966]

stanley knives are a common theme in this thread :ban:

hubby decided to trim the en-suite door down with a stanley knife... a short trip to a&e was required due to the amount skin he shaved off one knuckle and the blood soaked hand towel he used to mop up the blood :ninja:

hubby doesn't like flat head screwdrivers either.. one jumped whilst he was fitting some final screws to the side gate the day after we moved in to our new house and about an hour before we were going out with friends. the screwdriver dug right into the tip of his index finger. he claims he could see the bone :yikes: he didn't bother with a&e that time...