Uncolaberated slate!

[bencurtis]

i hate slate, only price it as a day rate never put a job price in :furious3:

 

[sWe]

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Thick and thin, ugly, stained and bloody annoying.... and thats just TJ.

If i never use this slate from Topps again it will be too soon.

Not 30 x 30 as it claims on the pack, but more of a 32 x 27.

Its about as square as a Dorrito, and as flat as DH's belly.

If the customer asks me to try and keep the grout lines uniform one more time i'm gonna hit her over the head with the thickest piece of slate there, wich is about 30 mm thick and then cut her fingers off with my bucket trowel!!!!!!!!

Next time (!), make sure to tell the customer that you "can't make the grout lines uniform with this material", but that you can "do them a way that gives the room a rustic feel". That's tile-anese for "you picked the tiles, moron, and I can only do so much with them, so either accept a bit crooked lines or buy new friggin tiles!".

By saying such things (the first two bits, not the last bit, obviously), you will radiate pro-ness, and if the customer isn't a complete cerebral equivialent of a roadkill, he/she will likely "value your professional input".

And oh, if the customer says something like "but I don't want rustic!", then you just reply that it's all you can do with these particular tiles. If he/she still don't want to return them and get proper materials, and still don't want the rustic feel, then just say something like it's all you can do with them. Then add that "rustic slate is all the rage" and that "it goes well with both classic and modern furnishings". That's a subtle way of reasuringly saying "this is all I can do under present curcumstances! Buy proper tiles or go away!". Or, just turn the job down (unless you need it of course).

Ultimately, it's not your fault that the customer picked shoddy materials, and it's pretty ****ing hard to exceed limiting circumstances which are being forced upon you. However, with a few carefully chosen words, and sufficient effort, the customer might not ***** about a so-so result, which, obviously, was the customers fault to begin with.

Cheers.