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user123
Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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sstilingservice
Man goes to the doctors ....
Man: "I think I'm going deaf, Doctor"
Doctor: "Describe the symptoms"
Man: "Homer's the fat one and Marge has blue hair....."
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user123
The chicken and the road
Why did the chicken cross the road?:
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roads throughout history.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don’t know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
MOSAIC GIRL: Leave the chicken ALONE!!!!
Why did the chicken cross the road?:
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roads throughout history.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don’t know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
MOSAIC GIRL: Leave the chicken ALONE!!!!
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sstilingservice
KFC: Said The chicken only crossed the road the once then it was deep fried and stuck in a box with chips ;-)
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user123
:lol: but what does SStiling services say???
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sstilingservice
SS TILING SERVICES: Said it was very nice with mayo and a Large chocky milk shake
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user123
Maybe I should start a general chat thread on this, what do you think SST? Could be fun to see what everyone else thinks of... or is that just too silly..back to glossing, will check later... 
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sstilingservice
If it's silly you want MG then I'm your man !!!!!!!!!!!! ( I'm a black belt in silly )
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user123
Ok, it's done :lol: :lol:.. a new thread of vital importance...
:lol:.. a new thread of vital importance...
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user123
Medieval Pick-up Lines ...
- "Hey, Princess, you wouldn’t happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"
- "Been there, slain that."
- "What’s a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"
- "They don’t call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."
- "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren’t the only thing they stretched."
- "Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor."
- "Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"
- "Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?"
- "Dost thou practice safe hex?"
- "Milady, it’s not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."
- "I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart."
- "You should be glad I’m not a Viking."
- "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I’m walking on!"
- "Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?"
- "You won’t believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends on it!"
- "I’m really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?"
- "You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel.
Only it wasn’t my hair that the queen asked me to let down."
- "I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m’lady."
- "Hey, Princess, you wouldn’t happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"
- "Been there, slain that."
- "What’s a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"
- "They don’t call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."
- "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren’t the only thing they stretched."
- "Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor."
- "Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"
- "Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?"
- "Dost thou practice safe hex?"
- "Milady, it’s not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."
- "I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart."
- "You should be glad I’m not a Viking."
- "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I’m walking on!"
- "Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?"
- "You won’t believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends on it!"
- "I’m really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?"
- "You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel.
Only it wasn’t my hair that the queen asked me to let down."
- "I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m’lady."
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