W
wivers
Yes my little ginger head has nearly exploded today.
Firstly i was having problems with the jon i was on so i phoned PJC to ask his advice (i also phoned Gaz but he has caller id and decided not to answer it as it was me)
As i was on the phone to Pete i turned round to see my beautiful ginger passion wagon being hoisted up onto the back of a tow truck!!!!!
I ran over screaming shouting and swearing like a rabid dog forgeting that PJC was still on the phone.
Now this is the story.
I bought my van from a dealer in Derby.
When i bought the van there was no tax disk in it. The dealer said it was like that when they got it and didn't know where it was.
I tried that day to tax and insure the van, but DVLA online kept saying the van was already taxed.
I phoned DVLA the next day to try and tax the van by speaking with an operatot ( i had no log book yet or insurance cert so couldn't do via post office).
The woman at DVLA assured me that the van was taxed until 01/09/2008 and that i couldn't tax it further.
I asked what i should do as i had no disk in the van, and was told to wait until DVLA contact me either about renewing the tax on the expiery date or sooner if the tax disk was returned.
I wasn't happy about driving around without a disk and tried anoth 4 times to tax the van to no availe.
I then decided to go onto the DVLA website and print off the documents that state the van was taxed until 01/09/2008.
I did this every 2 weeks or so until early May.
In May i got a spin from the plod doing on the spot tax checks.
I explained the situation and gave the the document i had printed.
They contacted DVLA who confirmed that the van was taxed, and i was allowed by dibble to drive off.
Now i produced these documents to the muppets driving the tow truck who looked like their relatives had been inbreeding with each other and goats over the past 100 years, but they seemed to be unable to A. Read . B. Talk without grunting. C. Stop dribbling and D. Use deoderant.
When one of the 3 huntched back no necks finally managed to string more than a grunt and a dribble together he said he would give DVLA a ring to check as it did seem 'funny'......
I suppose at this point telling the thick Quasie Modo on the bonnet of my love machine to get off before i ripped his throat out wasn't such a good idea. Nor maybe was telling his pal ( who was rather large and looked just like the cave troll from Harry Potter ) that if he broke my van i was gonna break his jaw. As this only seemed to make the missing links be more reckless.
Anyway, king of the inbreds got off thephone and told me that even though DVLA had it logged on their system that i had tried several times to tax the van, and that the police had made enquiries about it that were all cleared the van was no untaxed and had been since March?
March!!! but the document in Peter Beardsley and Andrew Lyod Webbers love childs hand clearly stated that it was still taxed in april!
This was far too much for Ugg to take in and all 3 were late for thier luchtime badger eating ritual. So he told me there was nothing e could do.
Then he said something really dumb.....even more dumb than i expected from a no necked, drop lipped clampet like this.
He said "i must admit mate i do feel sorry for ya"......... He said this in all seriousness!!
After asking him if he was taking the p**s and calling him a few words that dave will be thankful i shal not repeat, and telling the 3 of them the last time i had seen anybody like them i was watching the Munsters........and going into a ginger rage and throwing my arms around like a spoilt kid............they drove off!
So i was left on my job with no van, no tools and just a peice of paper showing a map to the veichle pound, which was fin miles away.
I tols the customer what had happend and began to walk in the direction of the pound.
On the way i phoned DVLA and wnet through 3 different people until i demanded i talk to a manager.
All of them said that i should have had a tax disk in my van.....even though they had said i couldn't et one every time i had tried!!
As DVLA is in swansea and i was by now fed up of the hearing the sound of sexualy abused sheep bleeting in the background ( sorry any welsh, feel free to slap me at T&S show) i told the manager that i was going to take this to the national news papers.
I phoned the sun, got through to the editorial dep, told them the story and.........they laughed....yes here i was , a puffy faced, ginger man, whos' wife is 9 months preggers and who's neck vain was about to explode and he laughed down the phone...........
When i picked the phone up from under the parked car across the road i realised the i was at the pub next to the pound shown on the map.
I went into pound and low and behold at the front desk was another toothless, hunched back, migrant, eating a pack of dorriettos ( that must be what they feed lab animals on these days ).
I showed 'experiment No4' the peice f paper and explained the situation to him.
Fat lot of good that did coz all i got was a phone thrown at me to ring the DVLA again.
After tellin the lab rat that i'd spoken to them already, i quickly realised that this office was a metal portacabin.
I also realised that there's was not just 1 but 4 of these strange tested upon beast's sitting behind the protective glass all eating crisps , chocolate bars, mice, rats, pegoen's, ferrets and any other road kill they had found on last nights midnight scavenge.
Now 4 of these rabid dirt bags in a metal portacabin, in the heat with out the ability to realise that they all smell like Rab C Nesbitts jock strap, was making me feel very i'll so i tried get outa there quick.
I asked how much i need to pay to which Herman replied £200!!
After picking myself up off the floor i asked what the heel that was for.
He said it was 80 quid charge to get van outa the pound, and 120 holdin fee until i bring a valid tax disk in.
Swallowing hard (whch wasn't easy in this BO infested oven), i pulled out my flexible friend.....no Ivegots my bank card!
"Sorry sir only cash"........ .......... .........
ARE YOU HAVIN A LARF YOU SOPPY LITTLE *******^*^%*&%&*%*%(%%659696656&($579495649869469**************
Ginger moment again!
So of i trot to find a cash point.
I get back to the hillbillies cabin of cak and hand over the cash.
I then asked how i get my 120 quid back.
Oh when you bring your tax disk in we will give you....a cheque.... ...... .....
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Now when the 4 smelly planks had calmed me down and picked the chairs up from outside the door of which they were thrown i was asked to fill in thirty thousand forms before i was led to my van by Egor and allowed to leave.
Dumbstruck, angry, tired, hot, and confused i began to drive home.
Halfway i thought i'd stick the radio on to listen to talksport but it was all crackly so i just stuck a cd back on.
When i got out at home i looked at my radio aerial and i was snapped in half........ which just topped my fin day off and proves that losing yer rag makes matters worse.
...........Fekin ....i wanna cuddle !!!!
Firstly i was having problems with the jon i was on so i phoned PJC to ask his advice (i also phoned Gaz but he has caller id and decided not to answer it as it was me)
As i was on the phone to Pete i turned round to see my beautiful ginger passion wagon being hoisted up onto the back of a tow truck!!!!!
I ran over screaming shouting and swearing like a rabid dog forgeting that PJC was still on the phone.
Now this is the story.
I bought my van from a dealer in Derby.
When i bought the van there was no tax disk in it. The dealer said it was like that when they got it and didn't know where it was.
I tried that day to tax and insure the van, but DVLA online kept saying the van was already taxed.
I phoned DVLA the next day to try and tax the van by speaking with an operatot ( i had no log book yet or insurance cert so couldn't do via post office).
The woman at DVLA assured me that the van was taxed until 01/09/2008 and that i couldn't tax it further.
I asked what i should do as i had no disk in the van, and was told to wait until DVLA contact me either about renewing the tax on the expiery date or sooner if the tax disk was returned.
I wasn't happy about driving around without a disk and tried anoth 4 times to tax the van to no availe.
I then decided to go onto the DVLA website and print off the documents that state the van was taxed until 01/09/2008.
I did this every 2 weeks or so until early May.
In May i got a spin from the plod doing on the spot tax checks.
I explained the situation and gave the the document i had printed.
They contacted DVLA who confirmed that the van was taxed, and i was allowed by dibble to drive off.
Now i produced these documents to the muppets driving the tow truck who looked like their relatives had been inbreeding with each other and goats over the past 100 years, but they seemed to be unable to A. Read . B. Talk without grunting. C. Stop dribbling and D. Use deoderant.
When one of the 3 huntched back no necks finally managed to string more than a grunt and a dribble together he said he would give DVLA a ring to check as it did seem 'funny'......
I suppose at this point telling the thick Quasie Modo on the bonnet of my love machine to get off before i ripped his throat out wasn't such a good idea. Nor maybe was telling his pal ( who was rather large and looked just like the cave troll from Harry Potter ) that if he broke my van i was gonna break his jaw. As this only seemed to make the missing links be more reckless.
Anyway, king of the inbreds got off thephone and told me that even though DVLA had it logged on their system that i had tried several times to tax the van, and that the police had made enquiries about it that were all cleared the van was no untaxed and had been since March?
March!!! but the document in Peter Beardsley and Andrew Lyod Webbers love childs hand clearly stated that it was still taxed in april!
This was far too much for Ugg to take in and all 3 were late for thier luchtime badger eating ritual. So he told me there was nothing e could do.
Then he said something really dumb.....even more dumb than i expected from a no necked, drop lipped clampet like this.
He said "i must admit mate i do feel sorry for ya"......... He said this in all seriousness!!
After asking him if he was taking the p**s and calling him a few words that dave will be thankful i shal not repeat, and telling the 3 of them the last time i had seen anybody like them i was watching the Munsters........and going into a ginger rage and throwing my arms around like a spoilt kid............they drove off!
So i was left on my job with no van, no tools and just a peice of paper showing a map to the veichle pound, which was fin miles away.
I tols the customer what had happend and began to walk in the direction of the pound.
On the way i phoned DVLA and wnet through 3 different people until i demanded i talk to a manager.
All of them said that i should have had a tax disk in my van.....even though they had said i couldn't et one every time i had tried!!
As DVLA is in swansea and i was by now fed up of the hearing the sound of sexualy abused sheep bleeting in the background ( sorry any welsh, feel free to slap me at T&S show) i told the manager that i was going to take this to the national news papers.
I phoned the sun, got through to the editorial dep, told them the story and.........they laughed....yes here i was , a puffy faced, ginger man, whos' wife is 9 months preggers and who's neck vain was about to explode and he laughed down the phone...........
When i picked the phone up from under the parked car across the road i realised the i was at the pub next to the pound shown on the map.
I went into pound and low and behold at the front desk was another toothless, hunched back, migrant, eating a pack of dorriettos ( that must be what they feed lab animals on these days ).
I showed 'experiment No4' the peice f paper and explained the situation to him.
Fat lot of good that did coz all i got was a phone thrown at me to ring the DVLA again.
After tellin the lab rat that i'd spoken to them already, i quickly realised that this office was a metal portacabin.
I also realised that there's was not just 1 but 4 of these strange tested upon beast's sitting behind the protective glass all eating crisps , chocolate bars, mice, rats, pegoen's, ferrets and any other road kill they had found on last nights midnight scavenge.
Now 4 of these rabid dirt bags in a metal portacabin, in the heat with out the ability to realise that they all smell like Rab C Nesbitts jock strap, was making me feel very i'll so i tried get outa there quick.
I asked how much i need to pay to which Herman replied £200!!
After picking myself up off the floor i asked what the heel that was for.
He said it was 80 quid charge to get van outa the pound, and 120 holdin fee until i bring a valid tax disk in.
Swallowing hard (whch wasn't easy in this BO infested oven), i pulled out my flexible friend.....no Ivegots my bank card!
"Sorry sir only cash"........ .......... .........
ARE YOU HAVIN A LARF YOU SOPPY LITTLE *******^*^%*&%&*%*%(%%659696656&($579495649869469**************
Ginger moment again!
So of i trot to find a cash point.
I get back to the hillbillies cabin of cak and hand over the cash.
I then asked how i get my 120 quid back.
Oh when you bring your tax disk in we will give you....a cheque.... ...... .....
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Now when the 4 smelly planks had calmed me down and picked the chairs up from outside the door of which they were thrown i was asked to fill in thirty thousand forms before i was led to my van by Egor and allowed to leave.
Dumbstruck, angry, tired, hot, and confused i began to drive home.
Halfway i thought i'd stick the radio on to listen to talksport but it was all crackly so i just stuck a cd back on.
When i got out at home i looked at my radio aerial and i was snapped in half........ which just topped my fin day off and proves that losing yer rag makes matters worse.
...........Fekin ....i wanna cuddle !!!!
