Worst job ever :south africa 1996

[jonnyc]

IF YOUVE HAD A BAD CLIENT RECENTLY READ ABOUT THIS ONE .
MAY MAKEYOU FEEL BETTER

THEJOB FROM HELL IN SOUTH AFRICA

Iwas first introduced to my client and wife at the Hilton in London in 1996.
Theyhad purchased 1100.00 sq mts Bulgarian and French Limestone from Paris CeramicsIn London .
Bothwere keen to use a stone fixer recommended by stone supplier for their projectin East Pretoria, South Africa.
Withclient having agreed costs and saying they would sort out work visa for us, Iflew out alone a few days ahead of two of my employees and one ex employee whowas coming from Queensalnd ,Oz.
Withno tools on board plane was waved straight through and met client and wife onother side of customs.
Theyimmediately asked me if I had been to South Africa before, to which I responded no, but pointed outthat I had travelled quite extensively through many other countries in Africa.
Wellthis is South Africa and it is different here replied client and I am now goingto show you why we brought you here and did not employ a stone fixer in South Africa.
Theytook me to their current home and showed me approx 100.00 sq mts of granitefloor tiling.
Whatdo you think of that client said?
Notquite sure what to say, I said it looked quite good but that we would do abetter job with no lips , on his new project.
Infront of his wife he says, I hope you will because I broke both their arms forf------ my floor up and they were thebest in Johannesburg and I will f--- you up as well if you don’t do jobright!!!
Notthe best introduction to my contract.
Wethen went off to see the site which was a very large and long single storyhouse.
Ilooked at the screed we were to lay on and you could see a couple of inchesunder a straight edges in places.!! It was appalling and corridors which weremeant to be 1200mm wide varied by up to 100mm and we meant to be laying stonewith cabachons right through middle and this was going to look very bad.
Notso good so far, but had a very nice house with pool, cook ,driver/handyman atour disposal.
Virtuallynew car and we all had club class seats out and back to uk.
Wentto meet Paul coming from oz next day and he sailed through customs probably onaccount that he brought his b----y surf board with him!! And didn’t look likehe was going to do any type of work at all.
Mytwo from uknot so lucky. They had the hand tools and were promptly arrested . First Iknew of this was when I saw them point me out to customs from other side ofglass and they arrested me as well.


NaivelyI said client had told me he had sorted visas out and simply mention his nameon arrival if there was a problem. He had not sorted anything out and manyhours later he rescued us from being sent home before we had started , quitehow I can only imagine!
Sowere all in and ready to go, just the stone to supposedly come tomorrow.
Nextday arrives with news that stone is still in the Atlanticsomewhere and not due for ten days.
Ohdear, but never mind because I have put a clause in my quote stating that ifsite not ready client will need to pay a day rate whilst we wait.
Diggersgot his surf board and hes off to the coast he thinks.
Ihowever think this would be good opportunity to get site properly prepared so Ioffer our services to rescreed the whole 1100 sq mts and sort out the localbuilders getting bathrooms ready and walls plumb and straight. Client was topay us anyway for downtime so this would please him I think and perhaps hemight give me the remaining 17% of 25 % deposit promised before I left the uk.
Well he was pleased that we were working forhim but no he didn’t have the rest of deposit available now.
Iam getting worried now but what can I do.
Wedo all the prep work and he pays rest of deposit in Rand instead of Dollarsagreed, so we decide to take a trip upto Sun City for weekend.
Thishas been quite a stressful start to job so be good to let off some steam.
Allgoes well and we go in to casino I hand out some cash from recently receiveddeposit.
Afew minutes later there is a commotion at one of the tables that one of guysare at and he is being questioned by security. I go over and get arrested forhanding my employee forged notes. I get hauled off upstairs and explain myclient has given me notes and give his details.
Backwe go to Pretoriaand I think I should check out the flight availability in case we need to getout fast.
Alltickets have been blocked by wife of client who owns travel ageny that issuedtickets for us. So we cant even get out.
NowI am really worried and we haven’t even started tiling.
Iam summoned to a meeting in his boardroom next day with wife, three different contractors on job and architect.
Ihave already put my invoice in for all the days downtime due ,and client hascalled meeting to inform me that I do not invoice him for work but must invoiceeach contractor for the works I did on their behalf and they pay me not him!!!
Thiswas not what was agreed or set in my quote but then nothing in my quote seemsto be adhered to.
Istate this and then add about the tickets being cancelled and being arrestedfor forged notes.
Ithen hear the words from first day. Right Ive had enough of you Johnny Clarke,coming over here to my country and telling us we have done so many things wrongin the site preparation, Im going to F--- you up here right now!!
Hestarts to get up and the all the others jump in the lift and leave me to myfate.
Hegoes for the safe , the same safe he had opened only few days before to show mehis guns boasting of how many blacks he had killed when he was a copper in hisyouth.
Iam s------g myself . He is in such a rage he cant get safe open . I don’t thinkhe can be mad enough to shoot me but I think he might point gun at me. Havingseen him knock one of the builders off the roof with a breeze block and dropkick another who had displeased him when they let one of his peacocks **** on apiece of stone, I decided best policy was to stay sitting down and see what wasgoing to happen. This man was very large.

will post what happened next if anyone interested

 

[Dan]

Yes! The story! At last!

Well done Jonny!

I'll have a read of it now. haha

 

[Ian]

Carry on Jonny, I'll move it into the arms as the language is too strong for the public forums.

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

Sounds like a nightmare up to now Jonny:yikes:

 

[Brinkley]

carry on jonny wanna know what he did to you

 

[nybor62]

c,mon dont leave it like that what happens

 

[jonnyc]

Menot moving seemed to baffle him and he then just launched in to a tirade andtold me to get our house and we were all sacked.
Thissounded like the least painful result I could hope for , so I got up and leftto tell the others without saying a word.
Backat house we have problem of how to get out the country and how was I going toget paid for what we had done.
Imthinking we just take the car and drive up to Zimbabwe/Zambiaand try and sell it.
Next morning I am trying to get hold of a lawyer in Joburg, when he calls house. Whyare you not on site working he asks??
Wellyou sacked me last night and I am trying to get a lawyer .
Wedon’t sort out problems in S. Africa like thathe says. Im coming round to see you.
Sohe did and we refused to go work or talkwith him until had sorted out the money issue owing.
Paulthe big Aussie did the negotiating around my requirements as I just could notdeal this client.
Ithink he really thought we were going to do a runner which would have given hima bigger problem getting stone laid.
Sowe worked out a deal where he paid me for work done to prepare and he wouldknock money off contractor and then we would finally started laying the stone .
Thewhite flex adhesive was made specially for us as none was available in S.Africaat that time.
Next4 weeks odd went ok and we had laid all the stone delivered so far, about 60 %of it.
Butthen we ran out of stone and the rest not on the horizon. It had left ParisCeramics ages ago in a container but nowlost somewhere.
Sowith nothing to do , I suggest we go home and come back when ready.
Diggeris going surfing down Jeffries Bay so he is pleased.
Clientis away on business but wife agrees and unlocks our tickets and lets us threego, making me sign a contract that I will return and threatening to havesomeone do me in, in UKif I don’t come back. Very pleasant!
Lastnight we have a big drink up and go in next morning to have a look at site .
Therewas only one room in house that had been completed with sanitary ware in etccand we had grouted this day before.
Thelight was not great in there but something looked very odd, the stone hadturned puce yellow from white. I had never seen anything like it . Im standingthere in my socks so as not to dirty floor and then become aware that my feetare quite hot. There a load of ash marks on the floor .
Seemsthe security guards have made a bonfire in middle of room to keep themselveswarm and the smoke has stained all the stone. They do this at home so why notin the clients house!!
Clientwife is told and she says her husband will be doing real damage when he gets back that night so better we andsecurity men leave today.
Ihad a go at cleaning stone but got no where.
Fineby me , were off .
Cantdescribe the wave of relief that came over me when on plane.
Gotback and got legal advice as there was no way I was going back there .
Diggerwas happy to stay there and I had asked him if it was ok if we never came back.
Hewas fine and saw more work for him and a way to realise his dream of buying ayacht to travel the world by xmas.
Icontacted client and said not coming back and suggested he pay digger a goodday rate and he could oversee rest of works with local tilers from johanesberg,which would save him a lot of money .
Clientstrangely agrees to this and will find out why, later .
Itell digger he should invoice client every two weeks and be paid on that day atend of two weeks. If client doesn’t send money in to his account in Oz on time,just stop working and the most he could lose is two weeks money.
Ihad another one of my ex employees who wanted to go out for the experience and work for client direct so everyone happy.
Thejob got bigger with more and more work but come xmas was finished. Clientthanked digger for all he had done and went off to Barbados for xmas.
Diggergoes to travel ageny next day to book a seat to go back to Oz to find clientwife had stopped his ticket.
Hethen calls his bank in Oz and finds out that client had not paid any money infor three months and he is owed loads of money.
Theidiot had never checked his account all that time.
Longand short of it loads of more grief, and digger gets a debt collection companyin Joberg to get his money back south African style and they did in the end .

 

[jonnyc]

Henow wakes up in his dream boat on the Queenslandcoast with quite a story to tell of how he paid for his dream.
Theclient got done for a huge fraud soon after , was imprisoned and lost everythingincluding the house.
Ifound out later he had only done business with two people living in UK before, named Bruce Grobellar and JohnFashanau. Wonder what that was all about!!
LastI heard he was selling firewood on side of the road so things have a way ofcoming around in the end.
Wedid have some very funny moments including one when about 60 of the colouredbuilders who were good lads and camped on site during the week were given thego ahead to catch all the peacocks who had been given the death sentence fromclient for ****ting on stone floor once too often.
Theywere running all over the property trying to catch them with anything theycould lay their hands on.
Whenthey finally got them they were cramming them in to their stewing pots for days .
Therewere days the builders would arrive after the weekend with bullet holes intheir car doors from shoot outs!! They would drop the coloured workers off andwe would never see the whites again the whole week till pick up time.
Wewere warned never to drink anywhere except on university campus area as notsafe which of course we ignored till the aussie who one night we left chattingup a local lady , came crashing in tothe garage door begging us to be let in as there was a group running after himready to lynch him. Apartheid had only stopped 18months ago and revenge wasdefinitely on the menu .
I was attacked in the safest part of town andwe never drove without doors locked and just run through the lights.

Myguys had great time and fantastic experience abroad, I was verging on a nervousbreakdown.
Ireally regret not going down south to see the sites before we left astravelling has always been my passion and the South African people were sofriendly on the whole.
Thelesson learnt from this was never to go abroad without minimum 50% paid in to ukaccount up front.
Ialways book the ticket and accommodation so there is an escape.
I sort the work visas out which is never aproblem as mostly we are laying old reclaimed stone which is consideredspecialist work and provided client puts an add in his paper abroad, he is notobliged to take any local fixers if he thinks that they are not up to the job.
Itnearly put me off going away again but I had worked so hard for five to get myself to the top of the listof fixers, for the then world most exclusive tile company Paris Ceramics , who were now offering mecream jobs around the world, I thought I must give it one more go.
Within2 months was off to a castle in Sweden,and the hospitality could not have been warmer.
Lunchserved in Harrods hampers overflowing with beer and bottle of whisky everynight from client.
Evenpaid for my van to be repaired when I hit black ice and crashed in to castlefront gates.
Neverlooked back and went on to do 20 jobs around the world ,till Paris Ceramicswent bust with Smallbone and Mark Wilkinson kitchens as part of Paris Ceramicsgroup..
So when I get stressed on jobs over here now Ialways look back at S.African job and everything seems nothing by comparison.

 

[Dan]

Brilliant story.

I think a lot of people when they're stressed on a job now can look back at your SA job and feel better about themselves!!!

 

[Colour Republic]

Bloody hell the clients from hell!

Nothing compared to that but the worst I think was working for a fairly big drug smuggler. I had an idea what he did as just the amount of cash floating aropund the house and the people coming and going but wasn't sure. I didn't realise at the time but we were under police surveillance all the time we were renovating his house and shortly after he was busted along with a lot of his gang, some of which turned out to be old school mates of mine and others I knew in Brighton. Again at the time I didn't realise they worked or even knew him.

The story says he rented the house but that's rubbish, who spends 100k doing up a house they rent??

Gang tried to flood streets with £5m cocaine (From The Argus)

 

[Dan]

No way. Half a million quids worth of drugs.

Makes you wonder how it goes on long enough for them to accumulate that much.

These people go through so much to gain suppliers and customers, and often turn over more than most legit businesses do. If they changed their products from Drugs to something legit. It makes you wonder if they'd be just as good and would become really good business men, or just fail miserably due to not being able to beat up competition.

I know I've struggled to get suppliers and supplies before when I sold underfloor heating. So managing to find suppliers in other countries that speak other languages, and then have to smuggle it in, and then have to sneakily sell it in the shed loads. I'm sure they'd do better if they could just be above board selling crockery or something.

 

[jonnyc]

which underfloor heating did you sell.

 

[CJ]

I'll never moan again about pain in the *** customers.


Well, until next time.

Brilliant story

 

[tobins tiling]

What a great story had me gripped thought we weren't getting a ending when you stopped haha

 

[nybor62]

what a great story best thing ive read in ages