When you get in from work don't bother your wife with the hardships you've suffered throughout the day, remember she may have spent hours trawling around the local shopping centers with her friends looking for that perfect pair of shoes to go with the black dress she picked up earlier.
This can be very draining for her and you should fully expect her to be short tempered and/or agresive towards you the moment you set foot in the door.
Always ask how her days been, and react with sympathy when she tells you how stressful its been looking after the kids, shopping and fixing that dangerously sharp finger nail that she caught in the chocolate tin.
Always decline the inevitable offer of swaping life styles that will follow, and nod in total agreement that hers in far more intense than yours.
Always clear away your dinner items after eating your self prepared meal, remeber she's had a hard day (watching Jeremy Kyle is exhausting) , and doing dishes could prove one strain too many.
Never ever make sugestive remarks on the possability of getting intimate, if she wants to she will tell you, making moves between christmas and birthdays is just being greedy and you may well find yourself on the wrong end of an "is that all you ever think about" lecture.
If come bedtime the an offer if intimacy has been made prepare yourself correctly.
Brush teeth, wash face and hands, scrubb intimate regions with ajax and bleach, she is offering you herself and does not want you approaching her in an uncleanly manor. Maybe put a bow round your man thing or strap a thank you sign to your bottom just to let her know how greatful you are that she is allowing you to be intimate with her.
Whilst partaking in intimacy always remeber not to kiss her, touch her breats, stroke her buttocks or nibble her nipples.
Never ever try to maneuver into any other possiton other than missionary, remember the vaginer is hers and she alone holds the power to call the shots.
Always reach your peak before her, as quickly as possible and fall directly to sleep as to give her maximum bad points to discuss with her friends during thier next shopping trip.
Always make sure you sleep in the damp patch and as close to the edge of the bed as possible as to allow her maximum spread space, its been a long a tiring day for her and she needs her rest.
Always remeber to set your alarm an hour and a half before hers, due to the fact THATS THE TIME YOU HAVE TO BLOODY GO TO WORK!!! FFS
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