Overheard in town...

[user123]

A friend of mine started a group with people posting what they overheard in town, and it's hilarious, thought we could do this here, too. Just some examples (this particular town being Scarborough, seat of the world's intelligencia...) :lol: :

• This isn't our gate - where's the number 8 gone?
• He stood in the street, drank a whole bottle of vodka, literally passed out and died
• Batman is a legend
• Ok if we're doing that, before i start work from home, i go outside, walk around town and walk back into my house like i'm walking into an Office, because then it feels like i'm walking to work.
• On buying peppers in Morrisons one women was heard to say, "Don't get the yellow ones, I don't trust them."
• "I'm gonna get her pregnant before Darrell does".
• My all time favourite, not in Scarborough sadly but I have to share. I passed a couple, talking. Something about the guy's face made me wonder what was wrong. Was she imparting bad news? I couldn't tell. Then they passed and I overheard her say "so it turned out she had a prolapsed uterus". That expression was man-to-man: "help me".
• "I've been bitten by a spider"
  "How do you know it's not a wasp?"
  "I know, they're different. I've got a sixth sense when it comes to wasps"
• Nah I can't go Tuesday, I'm in court.
• I didn't shag her, she shagged me.
• ...someone committing suicide in the street and a random bloke in the background washing his hair....
• Hey babe, come have a taste.
  Nah, i don't like vanilla
• A family group .. man, woman, pushchair, toddler, maybe others. Said loud enough for me to hear over the wind and on the other side of the street:
  "It wouldn't crap on me mum's street, and it wouldn't crap on Debbie's street either"
  "What?"
  "It wouldn't crap on me mum's street, and it wouldn't crap on Debbie's street either"
  "Oh, well let's see what happens at the end of this street"

If you hear anything good, let's have it!

 

[dhsanta65]

Over heard two women that I used to work with talking and one was saying to the other,
one of my kids asked what the disease was called that sailors used to get in the old days because they did not have any fruit or veg to eat ? (this was for school homework ) mother tells her kid it was Syphilis :yikes: :lol:
Better make sure you eat your 5 a day

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

An old one but, a mum says to little boy " if you fall off that wall and break both your legs, don't come running to me":yikes::lol:

 

[SandyFloor]

That's a lovely baby and look at his beautiful red hair....does his father have red hair?

I don't know, he didn't take his cap off.

 

[The Legend; Phil Hobson RIP]

That's a lovely baby and look at his beautiful red hair....does his father have red hair?

I don't know, he didn't take his cap off.

:lol::lol::lol:

 

[user123]

That's a lovely baby and look at his beautiful red hair....does his father have red hair?

I don't know, he didn't take his cap off.

Brilliant... :lol:

 

[user123]

Grown-up daughter to elderly mother - Daughter: Have you got your mobile switched on? Mother: Yes...well I've got it on shudder. Daughter: What?....Oh you mean vibrate. Mother: Ooh that sounds rude!

:lol:

 

[user123]

(Language modified.. )

Father said to partner outside Poundland, "Get lost, they're too bleedin' heavy, give 'em t' kids to carry."

 

[user123]

In the supermarket: "What a week, I've 'ad lost me purse, lost me brollie, oh and you know I lost me 'usband"

.... :lol:

 

[White Room]

Heard a womens daughter (13) say to her mother, you speak a foreign language Mum....Scottish:dunce:

 

[tommyzooom]

Just last week on site, One joiner shouts upstairs to the other
"Noel, do you have any rawlplugs in your stool?"

 

[Stef]

Female friend of mine posts on facebook, right can someone answer me this, " i know that the rhino is the male but is the hippo the female"?????? she is 21 years old!!!!!!

 

[SandyFloor]

I was walking in the town centre and I heard one line from two young girls walking opposite direction ......'Is a penguin a bird or a fish?'

 

[doit4u]

Her a young woman talking to her friend about someone they knew "She's nice enough but I wouldn't want to have coffee with her"

 

[doit4u]

Experienced rather than overheard. Some years ago was working in Ireland - pre Euro -went to the local supermarket but didn't have a punt for the trolley. Saw a couple returning theirs so asked the woman if I could give her two fifty pences for her trolley. She said OK, parked the trolley got her pund out and swopped it for my 2 x 50p. Even her husband was left shaking his head as they walked away