Summer joke thread...........

[WetSaw]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea...

 

[Blunt Tool]

Why do bananas like shade in summer? Because they peel! I'll get my coat!

 

[Time's Ran Out]

'Did you come on the bus Mavis?'
Yes but I pretended I was having an asthma attack!

 

[Andy Allen]

2 engineers are looking up at a large flag pole.

A tiler walks by and asks them what there doing.

We have to measure the height of this flag pole but we don't have a ladder .

So the tiler goes to his van and comes back with a spanner loosens a few nuts at the base of the pole and lays it down on the ground, he then whips out his tape measure .....26 feet 2 inches then bids them good day .

That's no good says one engineer to the other.........we ask for the height and he gives us the length......🙂

 

[Dumbo]

Woman phones her husband ." The cars has stopped I think it has water in the fuel " husband says" where is it " wife " it's in the river "

 

[Rookery]

A wealthy Arab says to his 3 sons, we've found another oil field and it's huge so I'll buy you each a present, anything at all, money no object.
Eldest son says I want a boat so the father buys him a luxury yacht, biggest ever built.
Middle son wants a plane so he gets the factory to build him a brand new Concorde.
Youngest son says, hey dad can I have a cowboy outfit, so he buys him Topps Tiles!

 

[Andy Allen]

 

[Andy Allen]

 

[Dumbo]

A wealthy Arab says to his 3 sons, we've found another oil field and it's huge so I'll buy you each a present, anything at all, money no object.
Eldest son says I want a boat so the father buys him a luxury yacht, biggest ever built.
Middle son wants a plane so he gets the factory to build him a brand new Concorde.
Youngest son says, hey dad can I have a cowboy outfit, so he buys him Topps Tiles!

As the old saying goes many a true word spoke in jest

 

[Dumbo]

I brought my wife a new fridge the other day.
You should of seen her face light up when she opened the door