dear dad

[CLAYS TILES]

Subject: Dear, Dad



A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad.' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.


'Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's,tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.


But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.


In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.


Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home

 

[CLAYS TILES]

SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW​

'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH ONE THOUSAND ​

AL QAEDA TERRORISTS ​

THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER!'​

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Campbeltown, Scotland
and you are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.



However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.


And after all, it is only a sign. ​

You may ask, ​

'what kind of business would dare post such a sign ?.'​

​

​

​

Answer:​

A Funeral Parlour​

​

God Bless The Jocks​

 

[CLAYS TILES]

To Be 6 Again...
>
> A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife,
> looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far
> off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
>
> 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
>
> On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice
> big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme
> park. What a day!
>
> He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of
> Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
>
> Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head
> was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
>
> He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal
> with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
>
> Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite
> candy , M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home
> with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over
> his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was
> it like being six again??'
>
> Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I
> meant my dress size, you dumb ***!'
>
> The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna
> get it wrong.
>
> SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN
> HANDLE IT.