How happy am I??

[Daz]

Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?


To get chocolate milk :lol::lol:

:ban:

 

[richard Kent]

What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Labrador:yikes:

 

[White Room]

Tina will be after you:lol:

 

[Daz]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[Rob Z]

Country humor:


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IlW9velocM]YouTube - Jerry Clower - A New Bull[/ame]

 

[Colour Republic]

:lol::lol::lol::lol: thanks for that Rob, i'm gonna look Jerry up on you tube, I like that kin of story telling

 

[Rob Z]

Rob, I'm glad you like that one. Jerry Clower was friends of sorts with my grandfather back in the 1970's. They worked together when my grandfather was the advertising director the lumber yard chain where he worked for 40+ years. Jerry was one of the celebs they hired to do commercials for the company.

One day when I was about 15 or so, I came home from school to find a big package addressed to me. Jerry Clower heard from my grandfather that I was a fan, and he sent me copies of all his albums, his book, and autographed picture and some other stuff.

 

[richard Kent]

​

The only cow in a small town in Scotland stopped giving
milk.

The town folk found they could buy a cow in Wales quite
cheaply.

They brought the cow from Wales and it was wonderful,
produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so
they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever
the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move
away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed..

The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet, who
was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his
advice.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward, they said
,

When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.

If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the
other side.

"The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this
before asking,

"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Wales ?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned
that they had brought the cow over from Wales .

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.

"How did you know we got the cow from Wales ?

"The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,

"My wife is from Wales "
​

 

[Rob Z]

Richard :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[albyshellshear]

The only cow in a small town in Scotland stopped giving
milk.

The town folk found they could buy a cow in Wales quite
cheaply.

They brought the cow from Wales and it was wonderful,
produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so
they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever
the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move
away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed..

The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet, who
was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his
advice.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward, they said
,

When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.

If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the
other side.

"The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this
before asking,

"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Wales ?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned
that they had brought the cow over from Wales .

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.

"How did you know we got the cow from Wales ?

"The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,

"My wife is from Wales "
​

I think my wife must be welsh too :lol:

 

[merlecollins]

My missus deffo has Cardiff origins as well then:lol:

 

[Rob Z]

:lol::lol::lol::lol: thanks for that Rob, i'm gonna look Jerry up on you tube, I like that kin of story telling

Rob, here's another one with "cows" as part of the punchline:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuBh2T-Tt2w&feature=related]YouTube - Jerry Clower: Bird Huntin At Uncle Versies[/ame]

 

[nybor62]

what kind of milk do you get from a forget full cow

milk of amnesia

 

[SandyFloor]

A farmer was showing me round his farm when we came a cross a shed much more luxurious than the others. Inside the shed was a pig with a wooden leg living in a certain degree of luxury.

Being curious I asked whythe pig was living in such comfort.

He answered " that's a special pig, that is. Two years ago when my three year old lad fell in the pond the pig bolted out, dived into the pond and pulled the lad out to safety.....that's a special pig, that is. And last year the house went on fire and the pig charged into the house, up the stair and lifted the baby from it's cot and carried it to safety....Yep, that's a special pig that is."

I replied" that's quite a story but why's it got a wooden leg?"

"Well with a pig that special, you don't want to eat it all at once, do you?"

 

[Andy Allen]

why has a milking stool only got three legs?

because the cows got the udder :lol::lol: