Why me!!

[eyebeetiling]

L M A O!!!!

I always forget to go before I leave home!! But I like to read a mag or newspaper while I'm laying cables and they never seem to have any about!
One tip is to drop in some paper before the you announce 'bomb gone' (with your hands over your face in a dam-busters kind of way), this stops splashback and the noise, but be warned if you do not flush immediatly, the foul stench will spread much quicker!!

Hope these tips help.

Eyebee (shshshshshssh-over-and-out.....over)

 

[sWe]

I almost pissed my pants laughing :rofl:
Be grateful you didn't cause a blockage :rofl:

 

[wivers]

Magic poo's are great...dont get many of them though due to my unhealthy diet lol.

Eye, i have tried the paper first trick but the bomb was sooooo large it slopped against the side and stuck so i won't be doing that again lol.

I way have a regular dumb of the week thread what u recon ??? 🙂

 

[sWe]

...but the bomb was sooooo large it slopped against the side and stuck so i won't be doing that again lol.

:lol: A mate of mine told me a story of something which happened when he did national service.

His platoon was out on a field excersise in the middle of the winter. No one really wanted to pull their pants off and take a dump, due to the fact that it was so cold they might've gotten frostbite on their danglies if they did.
So anyways, on the third day or so, while my mate was standing guard or something, one of his platoon mates came running, shouting, his face shining with joy. He said:

"You really gotta see this mate!!! It's unbelivable!! I just took a dump, and the log was thicker than a beer can!!!!!!!!"

......

 

[CLAYS TILES]

:hurray: pmsl :hurray:

 

[CJ]

Got my arse well trained..............first thing after my Shreddies..............up I go. Bombs away

But i did come a cropper once in a customers house.

She was a driving instructor, and lived on her own.........the whole house was a building site and there was no lavvy door.

Picture the scene....

Terraced house...Stairs just inside front door...........bog at the top of the stairs.....facing out.

I had the same rumblings as described so well by wivers. Also a similar smell.

I was praying she would bugger off

Anyway..........eventually she did, so down come the strides..........and bombs away............half way through me daily paper..........I heard the door open downstairs...........

Before I could move. The front door opened and in she came.........looked up at me, she must have just seen my head and bare knees. She must have know I was in mid dump.

All she said was..........."having fun....I forgot my diary"..........and grabbed her book and shot out of the door again.

I never had time to move.............:whatchutalkingabout :whatchutalkingabout

 

[eyebeetiling]

But were you having fun???

 

[Perry]

Wivs why you ? and you don`t know :mad2:

 

[wivers]

lol cj

 

[Ric]

i once p****d myself infront of a customer, which is quite ironic as she was in her 80's

i was cleaning a bin room in a block of flats that i clean and needed a pee, so took one into the drain in the middle of the room, when the dooor started opening, so i had to get it back in its pouch just before this old lady came in asking if i could get the lid off her jar!!! it was shortly after i realised i had not stopped peeing!!!