Discuss Doctor Wivers in the British & UK Tiling Forum area at TilersForums.com.

Dan

Admin
Staff member
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Staffordshire, UK
Hi Pebbs,

Thanks for coming to me with this problem as soon as you have , we need to get this sorted quickly before your standards drop and you find yourself in Lidl's rubbing your legs over a bottle of White Lightening Cider.

Believe me being escorted off the premises by their security guards there is very very embarrassing indeed.

They manhandle you with such force that your trousers fall down, you fall over and end up ontop of a pensioner....erm ...so i've heard..

Anyway, i believe that the source of this problem goes right back to your teenage years....was you a problem drinker in your youth? Did you stand on street corners late at night drinking thunderbird, 20/20, super T and any other alcohol you could get a passer by get for you from the local off licence?

I think what we need to do is simple....firstly we phone all the local super market chains and make them aware of your rubbing problem, i'm sure they will be happy to ban you from store.

Then i think we should ask Dave to Silicon your arms to your side so that you physically can't move them.

After 6 weeks cold turkey i think you will feel much better, of course you will have to live by drinking protein milkshakes through a straw during that period, but it will be worth it to be able to browse the drinks isle freely once again.

I hope this is of help and good luck.

Wives, you soooo need to check this guy out and register on his forum and blog.

His ebay listing: 2001 FORD FOCUS GHIA 1.8 Zetec Very Clean Interior | eBay UK
His website: Pistolfeet.com
 
W

wivers

Doctor Wivers, I have procrastination issues ... please help!!

Hi Mossy,

Okay ...hmmm tricky one this...... well the thing is without being rude having children at your age is not that simple...maybe if you was to adopt or ......excuse me my receptionists just walked in.... (pardon....procrastination?.....it means what? ....not procreation?....ahhh).

Hi, mossy it seems that you have trouble prioritising, putting large things to the back of the pile can cause lots of problems....just look at what happend when Lenny Henry did it!

I think that you need to start being firm with yourself, stop leaving the big issues like what time shall i get on the forum tonight, and ironing your bloomers until last...the less important things like paying your mortgage and responding to that final eviction notice can wait!

I hope you find this helpful Mossy, and remember don't put off until tomorrow what you can pay someone else to do today!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
U

user123

Yes, Doctor, right you are, Doctor, thank you, Doctor... and there is me thinking I could have some drugs....
blueflower.gif
 
P

Pebbs

Anyway, i believe that the source of this problem goes right back to your teenage years....was you a problem drinker in your youth? Did you stand on street corners late at night drinking thunderbird, 20/20, super T and any other alcohol you could get a passer by get for you from the local off licence?

God gawd who told him?! I had to pay the rent somehow!

Lynn
 
I

Ian

Dear Doctor Wivers,

For Valentines day this year my darling wife purchased me some eye cream that helps reduce dark circles, I laughed at first but then thought, what the hell I'll give it a go. I'm now worried that I have got carried away, I find myself using her face cream and, I'm ashamed to say, the veet and venus that sit on the bathroom window cill. Whilst my skin is now immuculate and smoother than the front cover of hello magazine, I feel I have now lost a large chunk of my masculinity, I'm in floods of tears as I write this, just thinking about how beautiful the bride and flowers will be at tomorrows long awaited royal wedding. Please help me, I can't seem to get out of this cotton wool filled rut I'm in.

Lots of love Brianny ***
 
W

wivers

Hello there ...erm....Brianny!

Hmmmm this does seem a very very delicate matter indeed.

Right firstly let me start my having a look at your face.... yes, yes i see exactly what you mean...your skin is really really soft, and may i say that you have almost no signs of stuble.

Those wrinkles round your eyes have almost completely gone yes and ...............ohh your eyes are realy sparkly...........you smell beautiful too! Ahhh is that Jean Paul? Your cheeks are so.. so radiant, and your legs feel so smooth......and so shapely in those heels, that may i say match perfectly with that pink maxi dress.....ermm....... i think i need to examine you a bit further......hop up on the coach while i pull the curtain round!!
 

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