Fathers death.......moving on

[Ajax123]

Scott - this is probably the most horrible time you will have. I am assuming that it was sort of expected from your post but really even then nothing can prepare you for that call. I really hope you feel better soon and have a loving family around you. I have my wife and kids and some really great friends who have supported me through this.

The one thing I am still struggling with is the sheer volume of work there is to do as my Dad did everything administratively speaking so everything was in his name. Difficult though it is try to remember some good times and dwell on these as they really start to push the bad stuff out of your head.

 

[Aston]

I have monitored this thread from the start and didnt know what to say until today. I got the call this morning to day my father had also died and it is only now that i can find the words to how sorry i am as i fully appreciate what you are going through and feeling. I dont wish for this to be any kind of thread hijack, but will add that the information already given is helpful to me too

Scott

scott.
i am so sorry to hear this mate. i knew your dad was ill but this still comes as a shock..you have been through a lot after losing your sister. lifes damn hard sometimes but keep going mate, your a strong fella and your family will need that strength...
god bless mate, your dads with you mate!!! never lose that belief..
ed

 

[Ajax123]

Something else to bear in mind is that Funeral Directors can be sneaky blighters. My mum has been left with very little money and as she gets housing benefit and council tax benefit she is entitled to apply for a funeral grant from the DWP. Now the funeral director knew this and did two things which fortunately I was looking for and have sorted.

I don't blame them for trying at all as they have a business to run just like many of you guys and as there is little money in the estate he will have to wait for his money. I guess there is always the risk of people not paying or not being able to pay.
Now the guy knows me and knows that I am likely to have more dosh than dear old mum.

Here is what he did to try to make sure he gets his money quickly.

1. He asked for a hefty deposit up front over half the cost. This along with the payout from dad's funeral care policy would have covered the lot. Trouble is Mum can't raise the deposit. He was of course expecting me to cough up.......This would have rendered me liable for the whole cost of the funeral.

2. I got the letter from him today saying with the estimated costs etc which was fine but inserted at the very bottom was the sentence " the account will be sent to Alan Jackson. Again if this was allowed to stand I would be liable for the cost of the funeral. I E-mailed him to say that the contract was in mums name not mine and he e-mailed me back saying he had now changed it.

Now don't get me wrong, I will not see mum destitute and I could probably squeeze my finances to cover the cost of the thing if need be but Dad paid in to the state for years and she is entitled to make the claim for the grant so why should he not get something back. If I accept liability for the debt there would be no claiming anything back and I would end up struggling myself.

If you qualify and you struggle to cover the reasonable costs of the funeral of a relative you can claim up to £2000 as a one off funeral grant. Also if you are under retirement age you can claim bereavement allowance for 52 weeks following the death. This might come in handy - especially as times are tough for many people.

 

[Scott]

Alan, im sorry your having problems with the funeral directors, shocking isnt it? I have to say that the last time i used their services it was really good, they didnt want any money at all and left it until about 4 weeks after the service before they sent me a bill. I guess everyone runs things their own way. Shame i cant really use them this time round.

I am staggered at the amount of work thats involved, however im in a slightly better position i think as there is no one else to sign things over to and he leaves no partner behind.

 

[diamondtiling]

Sorry to read of your sad loss Al.

 

[Taz8130]

Hi Alan & Scott

So sorry to read of the recent loss of your individual parents. For what help it may be, before retraining as a tiler I was a Benefits Visitor and then a Benefits Fraud Investigator.

Even from my position at the time I was well aware that obtaining information & completing relevant forms were and still are a nightmare.

As a general rule, for all benefits excluding Housing & Council Tax benefits you should get in touch with the DWP. Get in touch with your council with regards to HB & CTB if you need to apply.

One word of warning though, when filling in the forms, dont be tempted to "forget" about some bank accounts. The benefit service (DWP & local council) use a system called data-matching in which they are supplied by the banks with all accounts that gain interest and they cross-match it with the details that they hold. If any discrepancies arise, i.e. the information from the banks say that there are 3 accounts in your name and you have only declared 2 on your application for benefits, a referral goes through to the fraud unit.

Saying that, there are ways and means to get around things. PM me for details.

A good source of information regarding all benefits is the CPAG Welfare Benfits Handbook and goes through all the benefits, entitlements and what income & savings apply. This book usually costs about £37.00 but anyone on benefits can get a copy for about £8.00 inc postage. Your local library will probably have a couple of copies

Feel free to PM me if either of you need assistance or advice.

regards

Pete

 

[Taz8130]

Here's the link to the CPAG handbook:

Welfare Benefits and Tax Credits Handbook : CPAG Publication

Incidentally, this is the book that the Citizens Advice staff and DWP use