G
Gazzer
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. The Bar man says "is this some kind of a joke?"
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G
GazTech
pmsl Neale....faf.....lol
G
Gazzer
A Zoo Keeper starts his new job at the zoo and is
given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As
he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To
show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased he
disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as
lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the
Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt
him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a
spade killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because
lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the
lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect
honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he
starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the
spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he
knows what to do and throws them! into the lions
cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He
wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food
like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had
Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As
he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To
show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased he
disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as
lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the
Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt
him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a
spade killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because
lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the
lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect
honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he
starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the
spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he
knows what to do and throws them! into the lions
cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He
wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food
like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had
Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
G
grumpygrouter
G
GazTech
Gervase has a seafood restaurant, he accepts as he does every morning fresh produce ,and among the catch is a green squid with a moustache. The squid is placed in a tank with the rest for customers to choose their meal. That evening, a customer chooses said squid and Gervase takes it to the kitchen to kill and prepare with his cleaver, as he does it is spitting and swearing and biting in a total frenzy. As he raises his cleaver the squid looks at him with sad eyes and and a sorry whimper,Gervase could not do it. He called for his German washer upper Hans, he also raises the cleaver but hasnt the heart to deal the final blow.
It goes to show ' Hans that does dishes, can be as soft as Gervase, with wild green hairy lip squid'
It goes to show ' Hans that does dishes, can be as soft as Gervase, with wild green hairy lip squid'
F
Fekin
Oh dear..... that was quite bad 
F
Falcone
J
Jimmy Boy
How's this for a joke?
[DLMURL]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7204635.stm[/DLMURL]
How about 'Three Little Cowboy Builders' offending builders. pmsl
[DLMURL]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7204635.stm[/DLMURL]
How about 'Three Little Cowboy Builders' offending builders. pmsl
Last edited by a moderator:
G
grumpygrouter
G
GazTech
Pretty soon we will not be able to speak...for fear of offending mutes !!
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