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D

Diamond Pool Finishers

me and my labourer smudger smith, went to plaster a womens ceiling in her bedroom, it was full of furniture, so she went to make tea while we cleared it ,we were carrying her bedside cabinet out across the landing as she was coming up the stairs! well just at that moment the door of the cabinet swung open and out bouncing down the stairs was the biggest collection of DILDOS and **** you ever see well we all just looked at each other and laugh :lol::lol::lol:
 
B

brian c

me and my labourer smudger smith, went to plaster a womens ceiling in her bedroom, it was full of furniture, so she went to make tea while we cleared it ,we were carrying her bedside cabinet out across the landing as she was coming up the stairs! well just at that moment the door of the cabinet swung open and out bouncing down the stairs was the biggest collection of DILDOS and **** you ever see well we all just looked at each other and laugh :lol::lol::lol:
Did you pick them up for her?:smilewinkgrin:
 
T

Time's Ran Out

We did a 2 million pound house in London (not a lot by todays prices) a good few years ago and the only toilet hadn't been cleaned since the building work started.
I had a new van delivered on day 1 and the delivery girl asked if she could use the loo - I showed her to the local garage!
I had to buy bleach etc before we dared go near it.
Great customer - going back to do more work for him this year!:lol:
 
F

faithhealer

Where do I start, taken my own air freshner to a few houses (and wanted to burn my clothes afterwards) but a house in your town Dave wins the prize for 'clutter'. Supposed to be tiling the splashback but you couldn't see it for rubbish. There was no where to move it to either, the kitchen table was full, the utility room was honestly knee deep in linen waiting for the washing machine. There were mountains of clothes piled every where. Never felt claustrophic in a five bed detached house before. Only a couple with a six yr old !
 
R

Rob Z

The thing that amazes me more than anything is all the customers that let their pets poop and pee all over everything. They act like it is the most normal thing in the world for a cat to whizz all over the furniture/rugs/walls/clothes/draperies/floor/etc or for the the mutt to drop a duece the size of a concrete block right in the middle of the kitchen. And these seem to be the same folk that are uptight about someone walking in the house without taking their shoes off first.:mad2:
 
F

faithhealer

The thing that amazes me more than anything is all the customers that let their pets poop and pee all over everything. They act like it is the most normal thing in the world for a cat to whizz all over the furniture/rugs/walls/clothes/draperies/floor/etc or for the the mutt to drop a duece the size of a concrete block right in the middle of the kitchen. And these seem to be the same folk that are uptight about someone walking in the house without taking their shoes off first.:mad2:
and the first to pick up on dust !
 
S

suave

I was fitting a bathroom floor for a customer once and took out the whb and wc which was enclosed in a unit.bEHIND THE KICKBOARD I FOUND USED WOMENS UNDERWEAR AND **** mags.......i knew the bloke must have been up to something because the house was only 15 years old and he had lived in it since new and he and his wife are divorced.The worst thing about it is i know his family :yikes:

brian you selling them mate pmsl:yikes:
 
D

doug boardley

we were attaching an en suite to a largish bedroom, after sorting out the studwork I started jigsawing the T&G floorboards to replace with ply, the smell of ammonia was awful, the floorboards were that sodden with pee that steam was coming off my jigsaw, and this was in the bedroom part. It turns out that the man of the house was a toilet searching sleepwalker very frequently, and his favorite port of call was the corner of the bedroom were I'd been taking the floorboards up
****.gif
 
Last edited by a moderator:
M

mikethetile

reading dougs post reminded me of a job we went to, it was a total ripout and refurb on a council property

as we were contractors we were met on every job by the clerk of works to go through the job

the tenant had been incontinent and had walked around leaking everywhere

we opened the front door and the stench hit us. it was evil . we couldnt breathe it made your eyes water, we were retching

the clerk sent us up the cafe for a couple of hours while he got it sorted, when we got back there was a crew from the council fumigating the place and ripping up the carpets and throwing them on the grass outside

half an hour later a truck arrived to collect them, the ammonia in the carpets killed the grass stone dead, there was yellow patches every where,we were there a fortnight and the grass never recovered
 
D

Deleted member 9966

When hubby and I moved in to the house we live in now, we started finding boys pants/boxers stuffed down between the wall and the back of the vanity unit under the sink. The smell was horrific and what they were covered in was even worse. And this was under both the sink in the bathroom and the en-suite.

Thankfully we were able to take both units out and clean behind them too.
 
T

TheWrightTiler

I learnt a tip from the fumigators about how to deal with working in pongs
vasaline..........put some on your top lip and thats all you can smell
i still carry a jar in my kit, which gets commented on from time to time, you can imagine the stick i get:lol:


my late wife worked for the police dealing with suspicious deaths and her duties involved attending autopsies, never a truer word said mike works a treat
 

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