Jokes!

[CLAYS TILES]

love it wonder where she keeps her wand

well you saw the video, try the other end

 

[enduro]

John Darwin has walked into a police station having been missing, presumed dead for 5 years. He said thats the last time he goes on holiday with the MCcanns...

 

[Yorkie]

Heather mc'cartneys leg is for sale on ebay, description says it will make a good stocking filler

 

[devonmark]

A woman in a jewellers shop breaks wind bending over to look at a beautiful diamond ring. She looks around embarrassed and sees the salesman standing right behind her. Totally professional he say's "good day madam, how may I help you ?"
Hoping he maybe hadn't heard her 'accident' she asks "sir, what's the price of this lovely ring ?"
He answers "madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price !"

 

[White Room]

Be warned Shopping Sam. In Tesco while packing shopping in car, you may be approached by 2 fit 18 year old girls in tight tiny tops. They wash your screen with t*ts hanging out and ask for lift to next shop ask payment. On way they strip and go down on each other. Then 1 climbs in front and s**ks you off. The other then nicks your wallet! I had mine stolen last Tuesday & Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday and also yesterday. Be careful ........

 

[enduro]

The british population was asked if polish immigrants were a problem 23% said yes its a serious problem, 77% said czesk bardzo mi milu gdzie djest toaldta.

 

[stumac]

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was of course perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone on the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a large bundle of toys. Not wanting to disapoint any children on the eve of christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving around delivering toys. Unfortunatley, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and santa claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?
Scroll down for the answer........













the perfect woman survived. She is the only one who really exsisted in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.
Men keep scrollin.......











So if there is no perfect man and there is no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way if you are a woman and you are reading this, this illustrates another point. Women never listen either.

 

[CLAYS TILES]

perfect...... lol :8: